It's amazing what happens when you go out and meet people.
Tonight, instead of sleeping like a good boy, I decided to go to the sauna, and I met this really interesting dude from the capitol city. He was the most intelligent Chinese speaking man I've ever met (meaning, he can't speak English), but he was the first every Chinese man to bring up any topics that really affect gay men, including HIV, the culture here, the venues, the differences between Western and CHinese men--all without giving me his name or his QQ.
What's the best part?
Homeboy is from my city of love--Beijing.
Oh, his Chinese was so standard, and everything sounded so crisp and clean and beautiful! I haven't heard such fantastic Chinese in months! Also, if you've heard the Beijing accent, you know it can be sexy as all hell~! It's why I even consider Chinese men sexy, 'cause I know when worse comes to worse, they will sound like men and not like snakes.
He had a swagger too, with his 33 year old, military hair cut havin', black mafia coat wearin', lip curlin' sexy ass...
Ok, I really need to take my ass home! I've been in this country too damn long--if I keep meeting Beijing men while I'm here (there's still the airport later on), I might just keep my black ass here in this yellow oasis...
Just kidding!
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Friday, December 12, 2008
Finally
I'm going home.
I've come and left places enough times at this point not to get emotional. I see the facts at a time like this.
I'm going home.
I still have things to print, mail, cancel, and buy. I still have to have a few warm and fuzzy moments. I have to breathe in the air a few more times (I can't avoid that one), and I have to decide how I'm going to spend my last night (either at a club, asleep, or with the boyz). Either way,
I'm going home.
Going home to some significant changes, and to some faces that have aged drastically in the time I've been away. But at least I can apply my love balm when I get there.
I'm fucking going home....
Wow.
I've come and left places enough times at this point not to get emotional. I see the facts at a time like this.
I'm going home.
I still have things to print, mail, cancel, and buy. I still have to have a few warm and fuzzy moments. I have to breathe in the air a few more times (I can't avoid that one), and I have to decide how I'm going to spend my last night (either at a club, asleep, or with the boyz). Either way,
I'm going home.
Going home to some significant changes, and to some faces that have aged drastically in the time I've been away. But at least I can apply my love balm when I get there.
I'm fucking going home....
Wow.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Boom!
Phebe and I were coming back from Ocean College. It had been a hectic day where we spent most of our time getting things ready to turn in for the last time. Tired, groggy, cranky--we did the job of 7 people for a bitch who talks about as much smack as I do.
We were in the taxi on the way way. We told the driver we wanted to go to the West Gate of the school (西门）, and he replied "西门儿，是吗？"
Hold the phone?? This dude is from the North.
Now, Phebe and I have both studied in Beijing, and we have both gotten accustomed to the way they talk, which is like a bunch of pirates. Southern China : Snakes :: Northern China : Pirates. It's as simple as that, and most people have an affinity towards one or the other. We like the North (and so should you!).
So, homeboy taxi driver is CLOWNIN' the accent down here, and he tells us how we're all standard-speaking and correct and we're just laughing and carrying on--it's like hearing a relative or someone you're close to on the phone after a long absense...
EEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR~! SCRAP!
It finally happened. We got in an accident in a Chinese taxi.
Anyone who has ridden in a Chinese taxi knows how insane it is--gear shifting, ducking in and out of lanes that aren't respected, speeding up and slowing down, going down the wrong side--asbolute craziness! However, I had NEVER seen an accident happen, just the aftermath, so I was fooled into believing that if you buckle up, trust the driver, and text instead of looking at the road you'll be ok.
I was wrong.
I looked at Phebe. She looked at me. I asked if she was all right. She had banged her knee. I thanked the Lord.
Then we laughed.
(Funny thing--on the way to the school to drop off the materials, I had talked about the accident I saw the night before, and Phebe mentioned the one we saw in Quanzhou that was pretty bad. Then we said--"Well, we'll never get in one!" Lies~!)
We didn't have to pay for the taxi.
We were in the taxi on the way way. We told the driver we wanted to go to the West Gate of the school (西门）, and he replied "西门儿，是吗？"
Hold the phone?? This dude is from the North.
Now, Phebe and I have both studied in Beijing, and we have both gotten accustomed to the way they talk, which is like a bunch of pirates. Southern China : Snakes :: Northern China : Pirates. It's as simple as that, and most people have an affinity towards one or the other. We like the North (and so should you!).
So, homeboy taxi driver is CLOWNIN' the accent down here, and he tells us how we're all standard-speaking and correct and we're just laughing and carrying on--it's like hearing a relative or someone you're close to on the phone after a long absense...
EEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR~! SCRAP!
It finally happened. We got in an accident in a Chinese taxi.
Anyone who has ridden in a Chinese taxi knows how insane it is--gear shifting, ducking in and out of lanes that aren't respected, speeding up and slowing down, going down the wrong side--asbolute craziness! However, I had NEVER seen an accident happen, just the aftermath, so I was fooled into believing that if you buckle up, trust the driver, and text instead of looking at the road you'll be ok.
I was wrong.
I looked at Phebe. She looked at me. I asked if she was all right. She had banged her knee. I thanked the Lord.
Then we laughed.
(Funny thing--on the way to the school to drop off the materials, I had talked about the accident I saw the night before, and Phebe mentioned the one we saw in Quanzhou that was pretty bad. Then we said--"Well, we'll never get in one!" Lies~!)
We didn't have to pay for the taxi.
Monday, December 8, 2008
The Longest Day
But one of the best I've ever had in China. It reminds me of what they say, "Give someone his flowers when he is alive." People have been super sweet to me, and although they are usually, I think because I'm leaving, I feel kindness on a more deeper level than I would when I caught up in the hustle and grind of this existence. My soul is coming to a rest, and with the weekend no longer "next weekend," a peace with this place and my time here has overcome me. While there is QUITE A BIT left for me to do, I feel like I can take it all in stride since it's only a small price to pay when it's all said and done.
Today, Phebe and I had the chance to hang out with our class one last time. For the majority of the semester, we along with Grace, Megan, Luke, Jon, Claire, Brittany, and Paul have taken turns teaching a class at the 厦门海洋职业技术学院 (Xiamen Institute of Oceanography) on "Intermediate Business English." Since I've taken a course called "Intermediate Business Chinese," the idea wasn't such a strange concept. In teaching about every Monday, I've had the joy of meeting a group of over 40 kind-hearted, sweet, intelligent, eager, and talented 18-19 years olds who have never ceased to amaze me in their dedication to English and their willingness to assume us foreigners as not only teachers but friends. While grading papers is a pain in the hindquarters, and dealing with the bureaucracy at the school is not the best things, I've reaffirmed my belief that teaching, in its many varieties and forms, is something that I really enjoy, not just here but also with my experience in BOLD. Of course, in a class so large, some students stand out more than others (Clion, Christina, Daniel, Max, Patrick, Kenny, Summer), I felt a deep heart connection to them since they symbolize me, essentially, and what I see in them I can see in myself. I believe in them, and I wish them well. Today, the class got together and treated us not only to karaoke (which can even turn into a small disco if you know the right buttons to push), but also presented us with gifts. Knowing how much money these students have in comparison to me, it's humbling to know they care about us so much. I'll miss them, but now that I finally have QQ (the Chinese IM), I'm sure we'll not be so disconnected from each other.
And then the love kept pouring out. After KTV, I was invited to dinner at Alex and Tobias' place. Alex prepared sumptuous Indian fare, and I had an opportunity to hang out with them along with several new Chinese men I didn't have the pleasure of meeting until now. Sitting with them, smoking and sipping wine and enjoying each other's company, was a great experience. I hope that in the future, I'll have a chance to come to Xiamen again and relieve such a moment, but as the future is not promised to us, I'll cherish the memories I have for today. Once again, sharing those hugs and confronting the end of something had me displaying my Grandmother's trait of being a "crybaby." But, anything that's like my Grandma I'm proud to be.
With all that's happened this semester, my eyes have faced the future for the majority of my time here, yet moments like these, when I get a chance to connect with humanity and not take it for granted, having experienced the lonliness of a communication gap in a very real way, allow me a glimpse into the point of this existence. Why did I meet all of these people, and what can I learn from them, and how can I be a more mature and developed individual from these encounters. Moments like force me to accept that all the pain I've been through this semester because of my Grandma's passing are part of a greater scheme where I don't need to understand in order to derive all the lessons and meanings God wants me to see. I've been really low here, and I've been really high, and the fact that I can realize and appreciate all these emotions is a testimony I'll be happy to share with anyone who needs one. God has been so good to me because HE brought me over (the ocean), and HE brought me through (the darkness) (this is a quote from a song--name that tune!). I'm amazed that the words coming out of me, in this moment, are happy and hopeful, especially when there was a time when I believed that such an emotion would never come again.
So...yes. I'll see you soon. I'm thinking of printing and editing this blog so I can let some more sensitive members of my family see what I've been up to while I've been here. I think I might be making some people proud.
Today, Phebe and I had the chance to hang out with our class one last time. For the majority of the semester, we along with Grace, Megan, Luke, Jon, Claire, Brittany, and Paul have taken turns teaching a class at the 厦门海洋职业技术学院 (Xiamen Institute of Oceanography) on "Intermediate Business English." Since I've taken a course called "Intermediate Business Chinese," the idea wasn't such a strange concept. In teaching about every Monday, I've had the joy of meeting a group of over 40 kind-hearted, sweet, intelligent, eager, and talented 18-19 years olds who have never ceased to amaze me in their dedication to English and their willingness to assume us foreigners as not only teachers but friends. While grading papers is a pain in the hindquarters, and dealing with the bureaucracy at the school is not the best things, I've reaffirmed my belief that teaching, in its many varieties and forms, is something that I really enjoy, not just here but also with my experience in BOLD. Of course, in a class so large, some students stand out more than others (Clion, Christina, Daniel, Max, Patrick, Kenny, Summer), I felt a deep heart connection to them since they symbolize me, essentially, and what I see in them I can see in myself. I believe in them, and I wish them well. Today, the class got together and treated us not only to karaoke (which can even turn into a small disco if you know the right buttons to push), but also presented us with gifts. Knowing how much money these students have in comparison to me, it's humbling to know they care about us so much. I'll miss them, but now that I finally have QQ (the Chinese IM), I'm sure we'll not be so disconnected from each other.
And then the love kept pouring out. After KTV, I was invited to dinner at Alex and Tobias' place. Alex prepared sumptuous Indian fare, and I had an opportunity to hang out with them along with several new Chinese men I didn't have the pleasure of meeting until now. Sitting with them, smoking and sipping wine and enjoying each other's company, was a great experience. I hope that in the future, I'll have a chance to come to Xiamen again and relieve such a moment, but as the future is not promised to us, I'll cherish the memories I have for today. Once again, sharing those hugs and confronting the end of something had me displaying my Grandmother's trait of being a "crybaby." But, anything that's like my Grandma I'm proud to be.
With all that's happened this semester, my eyes have faced the future for the majority of my time here, yet moments like these, when I get a chance to connect with humanity and not take it for granted, having experienced the lonliness of a communication gap in a very real way, allow me a glimpse into the point of this existence. Why did I meet all of these people, and what can I learn from them, and how can I be a more mature and developed individual from these encounters. Moments like force me to accept that all the pain I've been through this semester because of my Grandma's passing are part of a greater scheme where I don't need to understand in order to derive all the lessons and meanings God wants me to see. I've been really low here, and I've been really high, and the fact that I can realize and appreciate all these emotions is a testimony I'll be happy to share with anyone who needs one. God has been so good to me because HE brought me over (the ocean), and HE brought me through (the darkness) (this is a quote from a song--name that tune!). I'm amazed that the words coming out of me, in this moment, are happy and hopeful, especially when there was a time when I believed that such an emotion would never come again.
So...yes. I'll see you soon. I'm thinking of printing and editing this blog so I can let some more sensitive members of my family see what I've been up to while I've been here. I think I might be making some people proud.
Saturday, December 6, 2008
God sees it all--snapshot
So, last night I went by myself to hit up 新浓清酒吧，my favorite hangout 'cause it's full of Chinese men of all types who are drunk as hell and looking for a chance to talk to anyone who will listen. I've done most of my research there for my projects, but I've also went because when I go, I rarely have to pay for beer. Nice...
Last night I went with one of the bartenders back to his place where we continued the conversation we started earlier that night. From 河北 (Hebei) province, he has that northern swagger I'm such a fan of. We talked about a variety of subjects, such as how Xiamen is not as open to gay men as other cities, how some people still think being gay is some sort of sickness, how he knew he was gay when he was younger but had to hide it--he just poured out information along with pouring alcohol into my shot glass. Nice...
When I left his place about 3:00 (I was only there for a short while), I hailed a taxi to head back to campus. It was the first time I had come back from the bar and had a taxi cab driver who didn't want to talk my head off while I'm intoxicated. For instance, last week I came back and had a particularly chatty taxi driver:
[in Chinese, of course]
Him: So, you're from Africa, aren't you?
Me: Actually, I'm American.
H: Wow, you can speak Chinese so-so (usually, they say I speak it very well, and then I go into how I don't think it's good enough, etc).
M: Thank you.
H: So, you understand what I'm saying.
M: Yes, I do.
H: What am I saying right now?
M: ...You're asking me if I understand you or not...
H: So, you understand about 80% of what I'm saying, I suspect.
M: Right now, I understand everything you're saying.
H: Yep, about 80% of what I'm saying. Do you understand?
M: ...Yes. I understand.
The night after that, it was a little better, but still bad:
New Guy: Wow, you're an African.
Me: Actually, I'm an American.
NG: Whoa, you speak Chinese!
Me: I can speak it a little bit.
NG: What's it...what's it...oh! Obama! He's black, isn't it?
M: Well, he's really half black and half white.
NG: He will do lots of good things for people who aren't white, right?
M: I think he'll do good things for everyone. Even if he were white, I'd still choose him.
NG: You know, you black people have healthy bodies.
M: Um...?
NG: I saw some sports the other day, and really, you all have great bodies.
M: Well, you can see me smoking a cigarette in front of you, so obviously my health is not that good, so it can't be true, can it?
NG: [blah blah muthafuckin' blah].
Last night, however, I had a great driver because he started his conversation off with:
Last Night Driver: So, what country are you from? America?
M: Wow...um, yes! You guessed right!
LND: Are you a student at Xiamen University (I had given him my destination)?
M: Yes, but only for a semester.
LND: Ok.
LND + M: [Silence].
A truly rare and beautiful occurance. He also had an accent that I understood, not this damn Southern snake-talk that, after being here for so long, I still have some trouble understanding (the majority of the teachers at UNC are from the north, and standard Chinese originates from the north. Beijing was a breeze in comparison to Xiamen).
But the greatest part of last night's ride was the radio. As we were coming back, one of the few Chinese songs I know came on: Teresa Teng's "Small Town Story 小城故事". It's one of the old little diddies that you'd have to ask your Chinese parents about, but she is arguably the most popular Asian artist to ever come out from Taiwan. When the song came on, the taxi triver and I did a duet and had a lovely time together as he pulled into the Bai-cheng Gate of my school. It is one of my "you can only experience this shit in China" moments, and although it's a small thing, it really makes me happy to sing along with the taxi driver, after a nice evening with a bartender, experiencing this country in small ways that I can't duplicate anywhere else.
I'll be back in the states in exactly a week. I'm so happy ^_^. I'll get to meet Diadra there, and what's funny about that is that I've seen Diadra more times in the last 3 months that most of my friends. I think are paths are aligned in the stars or some shit.
And, for your listening pleasure: "Small Town Story"! There are lyrics at the bottom the screen Karaoke style--sing along if you can:
[The song is about this little time where things are happy, beautiful, and quaint. It then goes on about how you can come on down, chat a spell, and meet some nice folks in this "not so bad" place. Also, invite your friends to come with you--the little town loves having guest. Basically, it's a song about Roxboro, North Carolina].
Last night I went with one of the bartenders back to his place where we continued the conversation we started earlier that night. From 河北 (Hebei) province, he has that northern swagger I'm such a fan of. We talked about a variety of subjects, such as how Xiamen is not as open to gay men as other cities, how some people still think being gay is some sort of sickness, how he knew he was gay when he was younger but had to hide it--he just poured out information along with pouring alcohol into my shot glass. Nice...
When I left his place about 3:00 (I was only there for a short while), I hailed a taxi to head back to campus. It was the first time I had come back from the bar and had a taxi cab driver who didn't want to talk my head off while I'm intoxicated. For instance, last week I came back and had a particularly chatty taxi driver:
[in Chinese, of course]
Him: So, you're from Africa, aren't you?
Me: Actually, I'm American.
H: Wow, you can speak Chinese so-so (usually, they say I speak it very well, and then I go into how I don't think it's good enough, etc).
M: Thank you.
H: So, you understand what I'm saying.
M: Yes, I do.
H: What am I saying right now?
M: ...You're asking me if I understand you or not...
H: So, you understand about 80% of what I'm saying, I suspect.
M: Right now, I understand everything you're saying.
H: Yep, about 80% of what I'm saying. Do you understand?
M: ...Yes. I understand.
The night after that, it was a little better, but still bad:
New Guy: Wow, you're an African.
Me: Actually, I'm an American.
NG: Whoa, you speak Chinese!
Me: I can speak it a little bit.
NG: What's it...what's it...oh! Obama! He's black, isn't it?
M: Well, he's really half black and half white.
NG: He will do lots of good things for people who aren't white, right?
M: I think he'll do good things for everyone. Even if he were white, I'd still choose him.
NG: You know, you black people have healthy bodies.
M: Um...?
NG: I saw some sports the other day, and really, you all have great bodies.
M: Well, you can see me smoking a cigarette in front of you, so obviously my health is not that good, so it can't be true, can it?
NG: [blah blah muthafuckin' blah].
Last night, however, I had a great driver because he started his conversation off with:
Last Night Driver: So, what country are you from? America?
M: Wow...um, yes! You guessed right!
LND: Are you a student at Xiamen University (I had given him my destination)?
M: Yes, but only for a semester.
LND: Ok.
LND + M: [Silence].
A truly rare and beautiful occurance. He also had an accent that I understood, not this damn Southern snake-talk that, after being here for so long, I still have some trouble understanding (the majority of the teachers at UNC are from the north, and standard Chinese originates from the north. Beijing was a breeze in comparison to Xiamen).
But the greatest part of last night's ride was the radio. As we were coming back, one of the few Chinese songs I know came on: Teresa Teng's "Small Town Story 小城故事". It's one of the old little diddies that you'd have to ask your Chinese parents about, but she is arguably the most popular Asian artist to ever come out from Taiwan. When the song came on, the taxi triver and I did a duet and had a lovely time together as he pulled into the Bai-cheng Gate of my school. It is one of my "you can only experience this shit in China" moments, and although it's a small thing, it really makes me happy to sing along with the taxi driver, after a nice evening with a bartender, experiencing this country in small ways that I can't duplicate anywhere else.
I'll be back in the states in exactly a week. I'm so happy ^_^. I'll get to meet Diadra there, and what's funny about that is that I've seen Diadra more times in the last 3 months that most of my friends. I think are paths are aligned in the stars or some shit.
And, for your listening pleasure: "Small Town Story"! There are lyrics at the bottom the screen Karaoke style--sing along if you can:
[The song is about this little time where things are happy, beautiful, and quaint. It then goes on about how you can come on down, chat a spell, and meet some nice folks in this "not so bad" place. Also, invite your friends to come with you--the little town loves having guest. Basically, it's a song about Roxboro, North Carolina].
Friday, December 5, 2008
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Thank You Text
This is my first ever thank you text, written to Yong Long (Jerry) for inviting us to celebrate his 20th birthday:
永龙，
你今儿早上起床之后，头疼了没有？
谢谢你请我们参加你的生日，认识你的很棒的亲人和朋友们。我在中国以来就没有机会跟那么好心的人一起聊一聊，吃那么好吃的菜。我希望你这辈子得到你最追求的目标，过得很开心啊!
Maybe my Chinese is getting a little better, or maybe this statement is so chock-full of mistakes, but I'm just too shameless to send just a complicated letter, or I'm just too dense to realize all the errors I made.
Oh well.
Jerry invited us (Claire, Luke, the Brazilian 华侨, Johannas, and I) to celebrate his birthday with him and his friends. While I imagined a little get together in his apartment just off campus, we ended up going to his Aunt and Uncle's house where they had prepared a delicious meal--made in the Chinese way, of course, meaning there were more than 5 courses and lots of Tsingtao to be had by all. I had some food I had never had before, including this seafood dish called "a 2 - uh 3.5" (it was referred to by it's Min-Nan name), and a seafood broth filled it clams and other delights. We enjoyed ourselves immensely, and while I had a LOT of trouble keeping up with the conversation (Luke, the Brazilian, and Johannas raised the speaking curve above me and Claire), I thoroughly enjoyed myself in my little mute corner, and look forward to the pictures that must come from this excursion. After the final courses of oranges, pomellos, and frozen peanuts and edamame, we went out to karaoke where we sang everything from 你要嫁给我 and 死了要爱上 to the Backstreet Boys (I did a great version of "The Call"), Luke and I left after "A Change Gon' Come" to meet up with Wesley and Paul since it was Wesley's last night in the city. We went to busted-ass K.K. and Honey (where the Dance-Techno music was on point...along with their clown on stilts), but because all of us were beyond the level of tipsy, it wasn't so bad.
Afterwards, we went to McDonald's around 3:00am and had a moment of confessions where I learned that my roommate has been quite busy here in Xiamen, and after teasing him a good bit, we shared our multiple hugs with Wesley in the elevator on after we returned to the dorm.
All in all, it was a good evening. I hope our paths cross again.
Right now, I should be writing my final paper, but I'm strongly considering spending the night in another location if I can, but that relies heavily on my stomach which always seems to be on the fritz these days.
Until we meet again, in less than 2 weeks--
永龙，
你今儿早上起床之后，头疼了没有？
谢谢你请我们参加你的生日，认识你的很棒的亲人和朋友们。我在中国以来就没有机会跟那么好心的人一起聊一聊，吃那么好吃的菜。我希望你这辈子得到你最追求的目标，过得很开心啊!
Maybe my Chinese is getting a little better, or maybe this statement is so chock-full of mistakes, but I'm just too shameless to send just a complicated letter, or I'm just too dense to realize all the errors I made.
Oh well.
Jerry invited us (Claire, Luke, the Brazilian 华侨, Johannas, and I) to celebrate his birthday with him and his friends. While I imagined a little get together in his apartment just off campus, we ended up going to his Aunt and Uncle's house where they had prepared a delicious meal--made in the Chinese way, of course, meaning there were more than 5 courses and lots of Tsingtao to be had by all. I had some food I had never had before, including this seafood dish called "a 2 - uh 3.5" (it was referred to by it's Min-Nan name), and a seafood broth filled it clams and other delights. We enjoyed ourselves immensely, and while I had a LOT of trouble keeping up with the conversation (Luke, the Brazilian, and Johannas raised the speaking curve above me and Claire), I thoroughly enjoyed myself in my little mute corner, and look forward to the pictures that must come from this excursion. After the final courses of oranges, pomellos, and frozen peanuts and edamame, we went out to karaoke where we sang everything from 你要嫁给我 and 死了要爱上 to the Backstreet Boys (I did a great version of "The Call"), Luke and I left after "A Change Gon' Come" to meet up with Wesley and Paul since it was Wesley's last night in the city. We went to busted-ass K.K. and Honey (where the Dance-Techno music was on point...along with their clown on stilts), but because all of us were beyond the level of tipsy, it wasn't so bad.
Afterwards, we went to McDonald's around 3:00am and had a moment of confessions where I learned that my roommate has been quite busy here in Xiamen, and after teasing him a good bit, we shared our multiple hugs with Wesley in the elevator on after we returned to the dorm.
All in all, it was a good evening. I hope our paths cross again.
Right now, I should be writing my final paper, but I'm strongly considering spending the night in another location if I can, but that relies heavily on my stomach which always seems to be on the fritz these days.
Until we meet again, in less than 2 weeks--
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