That whole non-smoking thing...
Damn. I made it last then 24 hours.
But, i'm optimistic, because I wasn't going through a withdrawal like "oh, I hurt!" but more along the lines of, "I know I should be smoking...where are my cigarettes?" I would reach for them, and they weren't there. I would see someone smoke on TV or in a movie, and I would reach for my cigs to join them, and then I saw that I didn't have anymore, so I got really sad...and I overate.
Cigarettes are a form of consumption that takes place every 2 hours or so, so instead of smoking, I ate:
A cinnamon pancake I whipped up
BBQ plate from Cookout
Blueberry cheesecake milkshake from Cookout
A hamburger from a cookout my mom went to
A hotdog from a cookout my mom went to
5 chicken wings
some crab salad
And, the most surprising,
2 glasses of Diet Pepsi...but, I don't drink soda, which is the weird thing.
Oh, foiled again! Better luck next time!
Monday, March 30, 2009
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Warning!
You think I'm a bitch, a fiend, a scalawag, and a sassy-pants now:
Wait until I stop smoking.
I just bought what I intend to be my last pack of cigarettes. I'm on my way home in a few hours, armed with lots of off-brand Nicorette gum, so that I can be comfortable as I go through my detox. I went to TJs and purchased my first loyal brand of cigarettes--Newports, more than a dollar more than when I first started smoking fulltime at 16 --so that I can go out with a bang. When the cashier rang up the purchase, I noticed that the price was $4.94 on the register. The cashier told me it was $4.95.
I got cheated out of the penny that was rightfully mine.
I think this shows that, with smoking, you can't win.
I haven't been so anxious to this degree for such a long time. I think I'll get past the withdrawl (night sweats, headaches, anxiety, coughing up random shit, the desperation) as if I were going through a very bad cold, but I'm more worried about failing and disappointing others and myself more than anything else.
The last time I tried to quit was during sophomore year, I think. I made it two days and broke down, and then I had to tell the two people I told about it (Laura and Bomi) that I had failed. I think I cried about it when I was alone, but I'm not sure, as I have a tendency to overdramatize things. The worse part was not the craziness that insued (I should be able to take care of that with with gum) but more-so the fear of putting a crack in my image and admitting defeat to a substance. I mean, it's a cigarette, not heroine!
I'm moving back my original quitting date of May 10, 2009 because 1) the tax is kicking in sooner and 2) I don't want my gown to smell like cigs, nor do I want to deal with the stress of trying to sneak off and smoke. I also want to do it because I'm entering a new phase in my life, and I want to be already prepared for it, not still working up the nerve.
So, yea, when I drag out this pack and smoke my last cigarette, there will be hell to pay for everyone.
God speed.
Wait until I stop smoking.
I just bought what I intend to be my last pack of cigarettes. I'm on my way home in a few hours, armed with lots of off-brand Nicorette gum, so that I can be comfortable as I go through my detox. I went to TJs and purchased my first loyal brand of cigarettes--Newports, more than a dollar more than when I first started smoking fulltime at 16 --so that I can go out with a bang. When the cashier rang up the purchase, I noticed that the price was $4.94 on the register. The cashier told me it was $4.95.
I got cheated out of the penny that was rightfully mine.
I think this shows that, with smoking, you can't win.
I haven't been so anxious to this degree for such a long time. I think I'll get past the withdrawl (night sweats, headaches, anxiety, coughing up random shit, the desperation) as if I were going through a very bad cold, but I'm more worried about failing and disappointing others and myself more than anything else.
The last time I tried to quit was during sophomore year, I think. I made it two days and broke down, and then I had to tell the two people I told about it (Laura and Bomi) that I had failed. I think I cried about it when I was alone, but I'm not sure, as I have a tendency to overdramatize things. The worse part was not the craziness that insued (I should be able to take care of that with with gum) but more-so the fear of putting a crack in my image and admitting defeat to a substance. I mean, it's a cigarette, not heroine!
I'm moving back my original quitting date of May 10, 2009 because 1) the tax is kicking in sooner and 2) I don't want my gown to smell like cigs, nor do I want to deal with the stress of trying to sneak off and smoke. I also want to do it because I'm entering a new phase in my life, and I want to be already prepared for it, not still working up the nerve.
So, yea, when I drag out this pack and smoke my last cigarette, there will be hell to pay for everyone.
God speed.
Gratitude 5
I'm grateful for:
1) finishing my China World Views paper;
2) not wanting to kill myself after (still!) being awake for more than 24 hours;
3) how nothing throws off Tyra's sense of right and wrong;
4) menfolk;
5) the rain that keeps the porch people away from Caribou;
6) one-way tickets...I hope CTLC will reimbursed me for an estimated round-trip even if I don't buy the round-trip. I mean, hell, who says I'm even going back to American in July anyway, and BETTER YET, when have two one-ways ever been cheaper than a round-trip? Someone is trying to gas my ass.
1) finishing my China World Views paper;
2) not wanting to kill myself after (still!) being awake for more than 24 hours;
3) how nothing throws off Tyra's sense of right and wrong;
4) menfolk;
5) the rain that keeps the porch people away from Caribou;
6) one-way tickets...I hope CTLC will reimbursed me for an estimated round-trip even if I don't buy the round-trip. I mean, hell, who says I'm even going back to American in July anyway, and BETTER YET, when have two one-ways ever been cheaper than a round-trip? Someone is trying to gas my ass.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Gratitude 4
I'm grateful for:
1) the confidence I have in the fact that I will complete all my tasks this week, and that I have the strength to do so;
2) espresso;
3) tea. Water is like alcohol--you need a mixer;
4) when the gas needle sits on F for days before it starts to go down;
5) this light-jacket weather. It'll only get hotter from here (excepts when it rains the latter part of this week);
6) April 1st, when I'm going to (try to) stop smoking.
1) the confidence I have in the fact that I will complete all my tasks this week, and that I have the strength to do so;
2) espresso;
3) tea. Water is like alcohol--you need a mixer;
4) when the gas needle sits on F for days before it starts to go down;
5) this light-jacket weather. It'll only get hotter from here (excepts when it rains the latter part of this week);
6) April 1st, when I'm going to (try to) stop smoking.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Gratitude 3
I am grateful for:
1) a renewed zeal towards my schoolwork;
2) a clean living room floor;
3) the increase in the cigarette tax next month...;
4) a mom who refers to me as a "strapping young man";
5) unlimited text messages.
Please, God, give me the knock-down, drag-out love that telenovelas are made of...I'll be a good boy.
1) a renewed zeal towards my schoolwork;
2) a clean living room floor;
3) the increase in the cigarette tax next month...;
4) a mom who refers to me as a "strapping young man";
5) unlimited text messages.
Please, God, give me the knock-down, drag-out love that telenovelas are made of...I'll be a good boy.
Thought I'd Share
I love you, rotten,
Delicious rottenness.
I love to suck you out from your skins
So brown and soft and coming suave,
So morbid, as the Italians say.
What a rare, powerful, reminiscent flavour
Comes out of your falling through the stages of decay:
Stream within stream.
D. H. Lawrence [1885-1930], excerpts from 'Medlars and Sorb-Apples'
Source
Delicious rottenness.
I love to suck you out from your skins
So brown and soft and coming suave,
So morbid, as the Italians say.
What a rare, powerful, reminiscent flavour
Comes out of your falling through the stages of decay:
Stream within stream.
D. H. Lawrence [1885-1930], excerpts from 'Medlars and Sorb-Apples'
Source
Gratitude 2
I am grateful for:
1) my high-ish alcohol tolerance;
2) good co-workers who've become friends over the last 4 years;
3) that Bertha-Nellie says she's "gonna make it anyhow";
4) the Spice Girls...they're not that bad;
5) Chris Keller, played by my Christopher Meloni, on OZ because he has shown me my ideal romantic partner. I want someone who'll kill for me, go to jail for me, fuck me, and is not afraid to give me a good shake when I get a little mouthy (not hitting, of course). As Jill Scott says during her live performance of "Crown Royal," "[He] loves my mind even when it's dirty." When I see him on screen, I literally melt into the comforter set.
6) my intake of fiber, although at times it might be too high.
1) my high-ish alcohol tolerance;
2) good co-workers who've become friends over the last 4 years;
3) that Bertha-Nellie says she's "gonna make it anyhow";
4) the Spice Girls...they're not that bad;
5) Chris Keller, played by my Christopher Meloni, on OZ because he has shown me my ideal romantic partner. I want someone who'll kill for me, go to jail for me, fuck me, and is not afraid to give me a good shake when I get a little mouthy (not hitting, of course). As Jill Scott says during her live performance of "Crown Royal," "[He] loves my mind even when it's dirty." When I see him on screen, I literally melt into the comforter set.
6) my intake of fiber, although at times it might be too high.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Clearing debts
I feel like, at this stage of my life, that I'm on the verge of moving into a new chapter, a more important one than the one we start each time we wake up. I'm trying to clear my debts against other people so that baggage will not follow me into the next step, and, believing in the Divine Judgment of Our Father, into the next life if I'm called home sooner than what I anticipate.
I've been going to people who I've held grudges against and have started the process of making amends. All of you might have heard me ranting about someone and how that person has taken control of my happiness and run a muck. Sometimes, I can go for hours talking about how much I detest someone because of what they've allegedly done to me. While it may be entertaining (^_^), the damage I do to myself by harbouring such negative feelings is one of Evil's greatest tricks--self-destruction is more effective and consuming that anything anyone else could ever do to you.
I've hugged and smiled to people who I detest, and I made an apology to someone who I used to hate with a passion last year. Because I kept seeing him everywhere I went (at my job and by my old job), I took it as a sign that I won't gain anything from my labour if I keep poisoning myself with negative emotions and dispositions. So, I apologized to him, explained why I was angry (he said he wasn't aware that there were any issues...), and tried to make amends. If I had been wise, I would've avoided the situation when it reappeared again this year through another person with the lesson I was supposed to learn and didn't. Life is funny like that.
I've been going to people who I've held grudges against and have started the process of making amends. All of you might have heard me ranting about someone and how that person has taken control of my happiness and run a muck. Sometimes, I can go for hours talking about how much I detest someone because of what they've allegedly done to me. While it may be entertaining (^_^), the damage I do to myself by harbouring such negative feelings is one of Evil's greatest tricks--self-destruction is more effective and consuming that anything anyone else could ever do to you.
I've hugged and smiled to people who I detest, and I made an apology to someone who I used to hate with a passion last year. Because I kept seeing him everywhere I went (at my job and by my old job), I took it as a sign that I won't gain anything from my labour if I keep poisoning myself with negative emotions and dispositions. So, I apologized to him, explained why I was angry (he said he wasn't aware that there were any issues...), and tried to make amends. If I had been wise, I would've avoided the situation when it reappeared again this year through another person with the lesson I was supposed to learn and didn't. Life is funny like that.
Gratitude 1
I am grateful for:
1) the companionship of friends;
2) ambiance, like the ones found in dark bars;
3) the arrival of Spring and long hours;
4) being able to rest without guilt;
5) calling someone on the phone, and hearing them answer (this isn't true for 336.597.9362 anymore, but luckily others still are in access);
6) the instant happiness one feels after responsibly consuming alcohol;
7) being able to treat myself every now and again;
8) reliving nostalgia.
1) the companionship of friends;
2) ambiance, like the ones found in dark bars;
3) the arrival of Spring and long hours;
4) being able to rest without guilt;
5) calling someone on the phone, and hearing them answer (this isn't true for 336.597.9362 anymore, but luckily others still are in access);
6) the instant happiness one feels after responsibly consuming alcohol;
7) being able to treat myself every now and again;
8) reliving nostalgia.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Help Me!
I think I have a "mental defect" (that's how they always phrase it on Law & Order: SVU "not guilty by reason of mental defect"). I don't have insomnia, but for the last week I've been falling asleep past 6am and waking up around 2pm. A full eight hours, but since my first class is either at 12:30 or 3, this obviously presents a problem.
A weird sleep schedule I can fix, but what I'm really concerned about is my utter lack of ability to concentrate on the task at hand. I'm a procrastinator, and since I haven't been able to curb this affliction in the last four years, I fear that I might always be one. I blame it on brain chemistry. Yet my procrastination now borders on laziness--it's not that I'm doing task out of order, but that I'm not doing task at all. I'm not reading for class, writing my assignments on time, preparing for essays in a timely manner. In fact, the only reliable aspect of my life these days is that I go to work on time because they fire people for that shit, and during an EC, one cannot afford to be jobless.
Even more pressing is the fear that pervades everything I attempt to do. Before I do an assignment, I get nervous and often put it off until I can't afford not to anymore. Then when I do it, I know I've done a poor job, and will feel guilty about it for days, culminating in a shame whenever I walk into the classroom. I've had this feeling since I was in Xiamen, and while I could justify my actions then on depression and that 4/5 of my classes sucked, I'm running out of excuses now. I'm failing one of my courses, pulling out a C- in the other, and barely hanging on in the rest. Right now, for instance, I have an assignment that I've known about for an entire week that's due in about 21 minutes that I only just began around about an hour ago. I'm slipping up badly.
I want to say it's all senioritis, but since this is for a class (and a professor) I care about, the disconnect is resounding. My life is all out of order right now, and environment is probably a key factor. Most of the time I'm isolated, and finances often preoccupy most of my thinking. I've put this stress on myself, and I have no one to blame by myself, but I'm actively seeking to help myself.
Is this prevading lethargy normal?
A weird sleep schedule I can fix, but what I'm really concerned about is my utter lack of ability to concentrate on the task at hand. I'm a procrastinator, and since I haven't been able to curb this affliction in the last four years, I fear that I might always be one. I blame it on brain chemistry. Yet my procrastination now borders on laziness--it's not that I'm doing task out of order, but that I'm not doing task at all. I'm not reading for class, writing my assignments on time, preparing for essays in a timely manner. In fact, the only reliable aspect of my life these days is that I go to work on time because they fire people for that shit, and during an EC, one cannot afford to be jobless.
Even more pressing is the fear that pervades everything I attempt to do. Before I do an assignment, I get nervous and often put it off until I can't afford not to anymore. Then when I do it, I know I've done a poor job, and will feel guilty about it for days, culminating in a shame whenever I walk into the classroom. I've had this feeling since I was in Xiamen, and while I could justify my actions then on depression and that 4/5 of my classes sucked, I'm running out of excuses now. I'm failing one of my courses, pulling out a C- in the other, and barely hanging on in the rest. Right now, for instance, I have an assignment that I've known about for an entire week that's due in about 21 minutes that I only just began around about an hour ago. I'm slipping up badly.
I want to say it's all senioritis, but since this is for a class (and a professor) I care about, the disconnect is resounding. My life is all out of order right now, and environment is probably a key factor. Most of the time I'm isolated, and finances often preoccupy most of my thinking. I've put this stress on myself, and I have no one to blame by myself, but I'm actively seeking to help myself.
Is this prevading lethargy normal?
Monday, March 16, 2009
Sexy B&W
I love Kylie Minogue, mainly because after 10 albums, she has a legacy of material that I can dig through along with other little gems about her personal life and musical repertoire.
Like this video for a song I've NEVER heard before:
The album version (the video has the single version) is better, I think, because it matches my "i'm doing homework" groove. The video is also sexy in a mid-nineties sort of way. The video also looks strangely similar to another video I love:
Which of course, got me thinking of another sexy b&w video:
(Well, the last one is "sexy" depending on your own definition)
Like this video for a song I've NEVER heard before:
The album version (the video has the single version) is better, I think, because it matches my "i'm doing homework" groove. The video is also sexy in a mid-nineties sort of way. The video also looks strangely similar to another video I love:
Which of course, got me thinking of another sexy b&w video:
(Well, the last one is "sexy" depending on your own definition)
Sunday, March 8, 2009
"I Love My Momma"
Moving, leaving, forgetting.
My fear for the future,
and my fears of the past
keep me on the grind.
Steady, evading, emancipating
from a constant enslavement,
avoiding a potential derailment,
I don't slip off the track that
got me here, but press on blindly
towards an address only I can find
with my eyes closed.
I wander, on the dark highways,
under pine-green signs,
through midnight forests under
saturated stars,
between moons and mountains,
within five phases,
under ocean clouds and rippled suns.
I find joy in a destination unknown
as my reality struggles to see
through kicked-up dust.
My home is just a suitcase away,
in the most unlikely place.
Security encloses me,
because my first home
was in her womb.
Moving, leaving, forgetting.
My fear for the future,
and my fears of the past
keep me on the grind.
Steady, evading, emancipating
from a constant enslavement,
avoiding a potential derailment,
I don't slip off the track that
got me here, but press on blindly
towards an address only I can find
with my eyes closed.
I wander, on the dark highways,
under pine-green signs,
through midnight forests under
saturated stars,
between moons and mountains,
within five phases,
under ocean clouds and rippled suns.
I find joy in a destination unknown
as my reality struggles to see
through kicked-up dust.
My home is just a suitcase away,
in the most unlikely place.
Security encloses me,
because my first home
was in her womb.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Pieces and Peace
People:
Grow the hell up.
Everyone ought to know, at this stage of the game, to be responsible for your own actions. Often times there are plenty of extenuating circumstances, but when a person has a hand in the outcome of his or her own destiny, that person should admit their fault when they fail to deliver.
Humility is a trait I didn't have much of growing up, and one of the reasons is that I compensated for my low self-esteem through continual promotion of myself and my perceived attributes. At some point, this means of existing wouldn't make the cut with many of my close intimates, and they were quick to put me in my place. My time in China, in addition, has taught me the value of harmony, and the value of not rocking the boat; sometimes it's best to hold your piece instead of flying off at the handle for the sake of everyone's continual advancement and a general peace.
Why bring this up? A certain person whose behavior I have been indulging came to me incorrectly over an issue that was her fault. By creating a situation where the incident could take place, it is therefore her fault that it took place. However, even if it weren't directly her fault, the way she approached this issue really was inappropriate. Instead of discussing it or telling me what was on her mind, she flung out the issue as an indirect insult as I was approaching her about yet another issue. Instead of reproaching her, which is my usual custom, I decided to hold my piece and let it go, retreating instead to a particularly plot twisting episode of Law & Order: SVU (Christopher Meloni = ideal man). What makes me upset about it is not the issue itself (it's minor), but that she brought up something that happened three nights ago that had obviously been eating her up, and that her attitude took away a little of my piece of mind in a place where I'm supposed to be comfortable.
Why am I so vague? Because although she doesn't care enough about me to actually read my blog, there's a chance that she might, and I don't want to put her on blast and force the two of them to gang up on me; however, what's started out as an economic relationship between friends could turn sour if I start to feel threatened or that I'm in a situation where I don't have control.
Humility. Growing up. Being adult about things. Speaking one's mind. Harmony. Gosh, the otherside of maturity is really tough.
Grow the hell up.
Everyone ought to know, at this stage of the game, to be responsible for your own actions. Often times there are plenty of extenuating circumstances, but when a person has a hand in the outcome of his or her own destiny, that person should admit their fault when they fail to deliver.
Humility is a trait I didn't have much of growing up, and one of the reasons is that I compensated for my low self-esteem through continual promotion of myself and my perceived attributes. At some point, this means of existing wouldn't make the cut with many of my close intimates, and they were quick to put me in my place. My time in China, in addition, has taught me the value of harmony, and the value of not rocking the boat; sometimes it's best to hold your piece instead of flying off at the handle for the sake of everyone's continual advancement and a general peace.
Why bring this up? A certain person whose behavior I have been indulging came to me incorrectly over an issue that was her fault. By creating a situation where the incident could take place, it is therefore her fault that it took place. However, even if it weren't directly her fault, the way she approached this issue really was inappropriate. Instead of discussing it or telling me what was on her mind, she flung out the issue as an indirect insult as I was approaching her about yet another issue. Instead of reproaching her, which is my usual custom, I decided to hold my piece and let it go, retreating instead to a particularly plot twisting episode of Law & Order: SVU (Christopher Meloni = ideal man). What makes me upset about it is not the issue itself (it's minor), but that she brought up something that happened three nights ago that had obviously been eating her up, and that her attitude took away a little of my piece of mind in a place where I'm supposed to be comfortable.
Why am I so vague? Because although she doesn't care enough about me to actually read my blog, there's a chance that she might, and I don't want to put her on blast and force the two of them to gang up on me; however, what's started out as an economic relationship between friends could turn sour if I start to feel threatened or that I'm in a situation where I don't have control.
Humility. Growing up. Being adult about things. Speaking one's mind. Harmony. Gosh, the otherside of maturity is really tough.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
微笑
I wish I had a phone like his, so that I could use it to change people's LIVES.
Also, he was beautiful when he smiled, but with all the time that's passed, he doesn't smile anymore.
Monday, March 2, 2009
"No Tighter Wish"
I miss Lisa "Left-eye" Lopes so much.
One of the hardest emotions I have to get through is that of missing someone. I'm often missing family members that have passed away, memories that cannot be recreated, feelings and experiences that were so alive to me at one point and are not lost in the oblivion which is the past. I miss my childhood and the innocence I had so easily and the security afforded by my mom and my family. I miss people who were once a part of my life but our relationship has since soured (like Alan, Michael, George) or vanished (Mimi). Sometimes, just that moment...it all is too much to endure sometimes.
I was talking to my friend Bobby today via text, and I was telling him about how I miss when we were really cool, back when I used to hang out in his room with him and John and we'd be so caught up in the Word, or whatever, and how Bobby and I were so close we would actively seek each other out, confide in one another, and have a genuine fraternal love for one another that evolved into something much more complicated. The things I associate with him: Spanish, biscuits, Cosmics (the DURHAM one, baby), devotion...loss of faith. We're cool now, but man, what I'd give to be able to go back and retrace some steps so that those same emotions would never have left.
Hearing the new Left-Eye posthumous album, I think about how I was so into TLC, and how she was my favorite member, and how I admired her for being able to speak her mind and step out against her sisters in order to define an identity that was her own. I remember hearing about her death, and I cried for someone who I never knew personally. When that "Rock Docs" documentary came out a few years ago, filled with clips from her video diary when she was in Honduras, it was like she was back again with the same charm and pizazz that made me fall in love with her the first time. Yet seeing how she died in that, and thinking about how art like hers won't be around again...and listening to the song on this page which I happened to stumble across a few weeks ago, I can't help but feel the void, the regrets, the sadness, and I wonder where all those good feelings went.
I know that there are good times ahead, and the gap between childhood and adulthood has been filled with some incredible experiences. I've matured a lot in the last few years, and I think it has to do primarily with being so removed from what made me comfortable, minus a few exceptions (key friends, my family, God), but I wish that there was some assurance that would allow me to rest comfortably knowing that those good feelings will come back in full force, or even that I would somehow have the opportunity that revisit some of those hurts, with the value of retrospect, and handle them differently so that they'd work out for my good.
Damn.
One of the hardest emotions I have to get through is that of missing someone. I'm often missing family members that have passed away, memories that cannot be recreated, feelings and experiences that were so alive to me at one point and are not lost in the oblivion which is the past. I miss my childhood and the innocence I had so easily and the security afforded by my mom and my family. I miss people who were once a part of my life but our relationship has since soured (like Alan, Michael, George) or vanished (Mimi). Sometimes, just that moment...it all is too much to endure sometimes.
I was talking to my friend Bobby today via text, and I was telling him about how I miss when we were really cool, back when I used to hang out in his room with him and John and we'd be so caught up in the Word, or whatever, and how Bobby and I were so close we would actively seek each other out, confide in one another, and have a genuine fraternal love for one another that evolved into something much more complicated. The things I associate with him: Spanish, biscuits, Cosmics (the DURHAM one, baby), devotion...loss of faith. We're cool now, but man, what I'd give to be able to go back and retrace some steps so that those same emotions would never have left.
Hearing the new Left-Eye posthumous album, I think about how I was so into TLC, and how she was my favorite member, and how I admired her for being able to speak her mind and step out against her sisters in order to define an identity that was her own. I remember hearing about her death, and I cried for someone who I never knew personally. When that "Rock Docs" documentary came out a few years ago, filled with clips from her video diary when she was in Honduras, it was like she was back again with the same charm and pizazz that made me fall in love with her the first time. Yet seeing how she died in that, and thinking about how art like hers won't be around again...and listening to the song on this page which I happened to stumble across a few weeks ago, I can't help but feel the void, the regrets, the sadness, and I wonder where all those good feelings went.
I know that there are good times ahead, and the gap between childhood and adulthood has been filled with some incredible experiences. I've matured a lot in the last few years, and I think it has to do primarily with being so removed from what made me comfortable, minus a few exceptions (key friends, my family, God), but I wish that there was some assurance that would allow me to rest comfortably knowing that those good feelings will come back in full force, or even that I would somehow have the opportunity that revisit some of those hurts, with the value of retrospect, and handle them differently so that they'd work out for my good.
Damn.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
The EC
So, in the midst of the economic recession, how does one maintain an active social life in lieu of a severe drop in one's finances?
Today, I managed to go to not one but two extraordinary social events while spending less than $5.00 plus a little gas. How is this possible?
1) Don't leave your home/dorm/hole unless you have a valid reason. Sometimes you have to say no to people who want to get you out there in the dangerous realm of spending money. In fact, why leave the house? You've spent money on groceries (eat at home, people~! That's why you even go to the grocery store), you won't waste any unnecessary gas, and you'll not be trapped somewhere where you'll be tempted to spend money, like the mall, Wal-mart, or that cute fragrance shop. Keep your ass at home!
2) When you do have to leave, never go unless you're equipped with snacks. Raisins, peanuts, pumelos （柚子！), a bowl of insta-noodles, small apples, some cheese and crackers, chewing gum--always have something to much on so that your cravings won't get out of control and you're forced to order something CRAZY like pokey sticks.
3) If you're doing something like dinner with a friend, either pick a cheap place (like NY Pizza), or eat more extravegantly (Panang) but sacrifice for it. Suppose you only have $8.00 to spend for the entire day--either save it until the end, or cancel and do something that doesn't involve feeding your face, like getting a cup of coffee, or going exercising together.
4) Why buy a bottle of water when you can fill up at a fountain? Why buy soda when you can buy an iced tea that comes with refills? Why buy iced tea when you can carry around tea packets that just need a hotwater spout (located at any coffee shop, at Student Stores, at Alpine)? Or better yet, why ingest something bad for you like soda when, if you must spend money, you can ingest something good for you like a fruit juice or some soy?
5) Don't go to bars, but go to house parties. Bars...are ridiculously expensive, but if you must go to one, pre-game as beer is a lot cheaper at home than at the bar, and drinks are the best tasting when they are made at someone else's expense at a house party. Of course, no one likes a mooch, so don't drink up someone's liquor, ya' drunk!
Today, while following all these rules, I spent no more than $5.00, spent on a pinapple (a gift) for a dinner party I attended. I drank other people's liquor all day long, but instead of going crazy with it, I decided I'd safe the real fun for when I got home to my own. Also, I ate breakfast/lunch BEFORE I left my house so that I was satisfied until my next meal, and I only consumed what I could get for free or I'd have to take my happy ass home and eat there. The EC (Economic Crisis) is weighing heavily on everyone's shoulders, but this is one man who will do his best to keep from going under!
Today, I managed to go to not one but two extraordinary social events while spending less than $5.00 plus a little gas. How is this possible?
1) Don't leave your home/dorm/hole unless you have a valid reason. Sometimes you have to say no to people who want to get you out there in the dangerous realm of spending money. In fact, why leave the house? You've spent money on groceries (eat at home, people~! That's why you even go to the grocery store), you won't waste any unnecessary gas, and you'll not be trapped somewhere where you'll be tempted to spend money, like the mall, Wal-mart, or that cute fragrance shop. Keep your ass at home!
2) When you do have to leave, never go unless you're equipped with snacks. Raisins, peanuts, pumelos （柚子！), a bowl of insta-noodles, small apples, some cheese and crackers, chewing gum--always have something to much on so that your cravings won't get out of control and you're forced to order something CRAZY like pokey sticks.
3) If you're doing something like dinner with a friend, either pick a cheap place (like NY Pizza), or eat more extravegantly (Panang) but sacrifice for it. Suppose you only have $8.00 to spend for the entire day--either save it until the end, or cancel and do something that doesn't involve feeding your face, like getting a cup of coffee, or going exercising together.
4) Why buy a bottle of water when you can fill up at a fountain? Why buy soda when you can buy an iced tea that comes with refills? Why buy iced tea when you can carry around tea packets that just need a hotwater spout (located at any coffee shop, at Student Stores, at Alpine)? Or better yet, why ingest something bad for you like soda when, if you must spend money, you can ingest something good for you like a fruit juice or some soy?
5) Don't go to bars, but go to house parties. Bars...are ridiculously expensive, but if you must go to one, pre-game as beer is a lot cheaper at home than at the bar, and drinks are the best tasting when they are made at someone else's expense at a house party. Of course, no one likes a mooch, so don't drink up someone's liquor, ya' drunk!
Today, while following all these rules, I spent no more than $5.00, spent on a pinapple (a gift) for a dinner party I attended. I drank other people's liquor all day long, but instead of going crazy with it, I decided I'd safe the real fun for when I got home to my own. Also, I ate breakfast/lunch BEFORE I left my house so that I was satisfied until my next meal, and I only consumed what I could get for free or I'd have to take my happy ass home and eat there. The EC (Economic Crisis) is weighing heavily on everyone's shoulders, but this is one man who will do his best to keep from going under!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
