So, in writing this entry from the 'sauna,' I've come to several conclusions:
Everyone is lonely and wants to be loved, and he will spend his entire life trying to find that love. The fact that there are so many older men in these establishments shows that finding the love one aches for may come to pass. In fact, love might be so elusive that one will spend his old age wondering what he did wrong and pondering just how many opportunities for real love he passed up, and what it would be like not to grow old alone.
This place offers sleeping, and I'm tempted to stay here for an evening. I don't know whether or not that will actually happen, but considering it seems, to a naive young me, like charity work. I wonder if I too will end up like these gentlement, searching for love in the most unlikely and desperate places...or whether or not the idea of being old and alone will help me to search for my own personal happiness a little bit harder. One of my biggest fears, aside from being a failure, is to be old and full of regrets about the life not filled with chances taken.
I've come to China on a whim, and I had to deal with some heavy loses in order to get to this point. While watching the obese man in front of me, nude, through the plastic slats (actually, trying to avoid looking at this grotesquely infantile form), I wonder if I will be like him some day.
Or, maybe not.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Saturday, November 29, 2008
i'm a sensitive kinda brutha...
Miso soup--fermented goodness.
Knowing that there's Carmex in Asia brings me a step closer to making this place a home after graduation.
Fried Udon dish at a random Japanese restuarant.
Would you tell me how to get, how to get to Nathan Street?
I'm a sensitive kinda brutha, ladies. Ask about me.
(Try me out. Put me in your mouth.)
Friday, November 28, 2008
"The suspense is wild..." - KYLIE X2008
It's great having a sense of accomplishment, especially of the sort that comes from achieving one of your life's goals.
I saw Kylie Minogue in concert. This is amazing because she has NEVER (and probably will never) travel tour the US. Insultingly, she went to South America and totally did a big "F-off!" the States because, well, the poor fools don't know good music when they hear it. What's more, I heard one of my favorite artists in one of my most favorite locations in the world--Hong Kong. And EVEN MORE eXciting was being able to see it with one of my greatest friends in the world, Ms. Diadra of Concord, NC.
The whole thing is almost magical in how it transpired. I was on a random website and out of the corner of my eye I see an advertisement with Kylie front in center. I assumed it was for her tour DVD, but I decided to click on it to get an idea of how much the price was. Turns out that skimming is for morons. It was for her tour, and I must say that it was heavenly inspired that I would be in Asia at this time, so close to two of the locations where she would be performing. I ordered the tickets less than a week before she was to perform, so I got craptastic seats...but the fact that I had seats at all is an amazing thing. Word to your mother.
I had class (a presentation, actually) on Wednesday, so I couldn't leave Xiamen until Thursday. I took the 7:25 flight out, almost missing it because my HAIR GREASE got caught during the security check, but made it to Shenzhen. I landed, and instead of looking for the bus that Diadra told me about (around 10 kuai), I decided that I was too tired, had too much stuff, and would take a taxi instead. I left the airport and was attacked by a portly man who beckoned me to follow him. After asking him if he knew where Diadra's place was (she's pretty famous around these parts--no, j/k. Actually, she lives pretty remote from the city's center), I followed him to a what looked like a bus stop where other people were standing. After asking some questions, I found out the people were taxi-cab drivers who were waiting for their taxi to arrive. It arrived about 7 minutes later, but...it wasn't a taxi. It wasn't a primary color, nor did it have a meter, but it looked like any-old car you'd see on the street. Because China has taught me to be brave, I climbed in. Hence, I present to you fine folks my first experience riding a notorious illegal taxi.
I could have been driven off to some isolated place, robbed, and injured. But, instead I was just dropped off at the wrong school. No biggie.
I met Diadra who has purply-brown hair now at a shorter length, and we napped (we're a bunch of old foogies). Afterwards, we took the K-wu-san-san (K533) to the Shenzhen border, but before crossing we met up with two of her friends who were coincidentally going to the Kylie concert as well--the Surly-Irish-Man Darahm, and the gay-Californian-Taiwanese Nick. And the fun began.
We made it to Hong Kong, and because we were running late, we checked into a hostel where I changed into this banging ensemble (basically, I changed shirts), and we hustled to take the X21 across Hong Kong to the airport, nearto where the Asia World-Arena was located. We sat on the top of the double-decker bus (my first time), and watched the night scenery pass by. We then rode across what used to be the longest suspension bridge in Asia as neon lights and the opportunity to see Kylie Minogue twinkled in the distance. I would have taken my camera, but since I believed erroniously that they would check bags at the entrance, all my Kylie moments are in my head and on Youtube. What a shame.
We arived--the place was packed. We were several minutes late, and fearing that the concert would start soon, we dashed to the box office to pick up our tickets. Everything worked out fine, and Diadra and I took our seats in section U while Nick and Darahm were in R. There was a DJ performing in the area I guess in the place of an opening act, and he played a lot of unknown remixes to some of Kylie's lesser known songs (like, Boombox). A large purple satin curtain was masking the stage, and a lone smoke machine blew like a the little engline that could in an effort to fill up the arena. We were poised and ready for the show to begin.
And although the concert was supposed to start at 8, Kylie rolled her ass in around 8:58.
Oh, but how she began!
She opened with SPEAKERPHONE. I played that song too death, and I think it's the best upbeat song on the album. In the video, notice the the animations that are on the screen. And imagine them 8 billion times bigger. And Kylie's entrance on top of the speakers from the deaths of the stage--priceless. She's a champion!!
I screamed like a bitch for the majority of the concert. And I danced in our section filled with ex-pats over 50 and rhythm-less Hong-Kongers. Diadra had/has a fever (I forgot to make a joke about how one of Kylie's most popular albums is called Fever), so she still had the Kylie spirit.
Some of the highlights of the concerts--
Kylie changed outfits six times, and each one was fabulous (although I think the one that referenced American footballers was a little 马马虎虎, it still wasn't bad). I read somewhere that Jean-Paul Gaultier designed the outfits for the tour, and they did seem to adhere to his style in that they were too long for heavy choreography, yet still modern and captured the essense of the songs and the sets. Coincidently, he also designed costumes for my favorite singer from HK--Leslie Cheung 张国荣 for his last tour before he died. It's amazing how great minds think alike.
The songs list covered all the songs from X, yet she still did all of her major hits, including some really old ones like "Wouldn't Change a Thing," "Better the Devil You Know," and closing the concert with "I Should Be So Lucky" (I believe the motivation for doing so many old hits is due to her audience--mostly British ex-pats. The songs were all hits in England when they were released).
She didn't do anything like "Boombox" (or as Bomi called it, Boom-pah), "Cherry bomb" or any of the R&B songs such as "Almost a Lover" or "After Dark" from Body Language, but she didn't do anything bad...
Except for "Your Disco Needs You." This is the only Kylie Minogue songs I've ever deleted from my computer. Yet, I sang along even to that.
Kylie also sang some covers...surprisingly. She has a whole set devoted to a nautical theme, so she could do "Loveboat"...and, to the most lyrically-tragic and popular song ever:
"Copacabana." I still don't understand why, but Kylie--you betta work it, gurl!
Kylie looked AMAZING, by the way. She was doing splits suspended by a crew of backup dancers (not her best troup...sadly), while wearing 6/7/8/9 inch heels. She was working it out.
I had a semi-religious experience during the concernt. I was so happy during "The One" that I almost starting crying. Well, maybe I did, if you count being misty-eyed as crying. In my defense, she had just showered the arena in gold glitter. Here's a performance from the DVD:
[She sounds a little raggady in this performance, but she sounded SUPERB in HK.]
The whole tour is so popular, it even has a fucking Wikipedia entry!
So, I haven't been this happy since seeing Jill Scott earlier this year. It's good too since I would probably have been sad since my family and friends are all celebrating Thanksgiving in the states. Granted, I would trade Kylie for one more Thanksgiving with my Grandma, but things standing as they are, if I have to bee so far I was from the people I love most, then I'm glad I spent my time in HK, with a gay Taiwanese man, Little Di-Di, dancing the night away to the Princess of Pop.
<3
I saw Kylie Minogue in concert. This is amazing because she has NEVER (and probably will never) travel tour the US. Insultingly, she went to South America and totally did a big "F-off!" the States because, well, the poor fools don't know good music when they hear it. What's more, I heard one of my favorite artists in one of my most favorite locations in the world--Hong Kong. And EVEN MORE eXciting was being able to see it with one of my greatest friends in the world, Ms. Diadra of Concord, NC.
The whole thing is almost magical in how it transpired. I was on a random website and out of the corner of my eye I see an advertisement with Kylie front in center. I assumed it was for her tour DVD, but I decided to click on it to get an idea of how much the price was. Turns out that skimming is for morons. It was for her tour, and I must say that it was heavenly inspired that I would be in Asia at this time, so close to two of the locations where she would be performing. I ordered the tickets less than a week before she was to perform, so I got craptastic seats...but the fact that I had seats at all is an amazing thing. Word to your mother.
I had class (a presentation, actually) on Wednesday, so I couldn't leave Xiamen until Thursday. I took the 7:25 flight out, almost missing it because my HAIR GREASE got caught during the security check, but made it to Shenzhen. I landed, and instead of looking for the bus that Diadra told me about (around 10 kuai), I decided that I was too tired, had too much stuff, and would take a taxi instead. I left the airport and was attacked by a portly man who beckoned me to follow him. After asking him if he knew where Diadra's place was (she's pretty famous around these parts--no, j/k. Actually, she lives pretty remote from the city's center), I followed him to a what looked like a bus stop where other people were standing. After asking some questions, I found out the people were taxi-cab drivers who were waiting for their taxi to arrive. It arrived about 7 minutes later, but...it wasn't a taxi. It wasn't a primary color, nor did it have a meter, but it looked like any-old car you'd see on the street. Because China has taught me to be brave, I climbed in. Hence, I present to you fine folks my first experience riding a notorious illegal taxi.
I could have been driven off to some isolated place, robbed, and injured. But, instead I was just dropped off at the wrong school. No biggie.
I met Diadra who has purply-brown hair now at a shorter length, and we napped (we're a bunch of old foogies). Afterwards, we took the K-wu-san-san (K533) to the Shenzhen border, but before crossing we met up with two of her friends who were coincidentally going to the Kylie concert as well--the Surly-Irish-Man Darahm, and the gay-Californian-Taiwanese Nick. And the fun began.
We made it to Hong Kong, and because we were running late, we checked into a hostel where I changed into this banging ensemble (basically, I changed shirts), and we hustled to take the X21 across Hong Kong to the airport, nearto where the Asia World-Arena was located. We sat on the top of the double-decker bus (my first time), and watched the night scenery pass by. We then rode across what used to be the longest suspension bridge in Asia as neon lights and the opportunity to see Kylie Minogue twinkled in the distance. I would have taken my camera, but since I believed erroniously that they would check bags at the entrance, all my Kylie moments are in my head and on Youtube. What a shame.
We arived--the place was packed. We were several minutes late, and fearing that the concert would start soon, we dashed to the box office to pick up our tickets. Everything worked out fine, and Diadra and I took our seats in section U while Nick and Darahm were in R. There was a DJ performing in the area I guess in the place of an opening act, and he played a lot of unknown remixes to some of Kylie's lesser known songs (like, Boombox). A large purple satin curtain was masking the stage, and a lone smoke machine blew like a the little engline that could in an effort to fill up the arena. We were poised and ready for the show to begin.
And although the concert was supposed to start at 8, Kylie rolled her ass in around 8:58.
Oh, but how she began!
She opened with SPEAKERPHONE. I played that song too death, and I think it's the best upbeat song on the album. In the video, notice the the animations that are on the screen. And imagine them 8 billion times bigger. And Kylie's entrance on top of the speakers from the deaths of the stage--priceless. She's a champion!!
I screamed like a bitch for the majority of the concert. And I danced in our section filled with ex-pats over 50 and rhythm-less Hong-Kongers. Diadra had/has a fever (I forgot to make a joke about how one of Kylie's most popular albums is called Fever), so she still had the Kylie spirit.
Some of the highlights of the concerts--
Kylie changed outfits six times, and each one was fabulous (although I think the one that referenced American footballers was a little 马马虎虎, it still wasn't bad). I read somewhere that Jean-Paul Gaultier designed the outfits for the tour, and they did seem to adhere to his style in that they were too long for heavy choreography, yet still modern and captured the essense of the songs and the sets. Coincidently, he also designed costumes for my favorite singer from HK--Leslie Cheung 张国荣 for his last tour before he died. It's amazing how great minds think alike.
The songs list covered all the songs from X, yet she still did all of her major hits, including some really old ones like "Wouldn't Change a Thing," "Better the Devil You Know," and closing the concert with "I Should Be So Lucky" (I believe the motivation for doing so many old hits is due to her audience--mostly British ex-pats. The songs were all hits in England when they were released).
She didn't do anything like "Boombox" (or as Bomi called it, Boom-pah), "Cherry bomb" or any of the R&B songs such as "Almost a Lover" or "After Dark" from Body Language, but she didn't do anything bad...
Except for "Your Disco Needs You." This is the only Kylie Minogue songs I've ever deleted from my computer. Yet, I sang along even to that.
Kylie also sang some covers...surprisingly. She has a whole set devoted to a nautical theme, so she could do "Loveboat"...and, to the most lyrically-tragic and popular song ever:
"Copacabana." I still don't understand why, but Kylie--you betta work it, gurl!
Kylie looked AMAZING, by the way. She was doing splits suspended by a crew of backup dancers (not her best troup...sadly), while wearing 6/7/8/9 inch heels. She was working it out.
I had a semi-religious experience during the concernt. I was so happy during "The One" that I almost starting crying. Well, maybe I did, if you count being misty-eyed as crying. In my defense, she had just showered the arena in gold glitter. Here's a performance from the DVD:
[She sounds a little raggady in this performance, but she sounded SUPERB in HK.]
The whole tour is so popular, it even has a fucking Wikipedia entry!
So, I haven't been this happy since seeing Jill Scott earlier this year. It's good too since I would probably have been sad since my family and friends are all celebrating Thanksgiving in the states. Granted, I would trade Kylie for one more Thanksgiving with my Grandma, but things standing as they are, if I have to bee so far I was from the people I love most, then I'm glad I spent my time in HK, with a gay Taiwanese man, Little Di-Di, dancing the night away to the Princess of Pop.
<3
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Ode to 柚子
What exactly are you, my little friend?
Whenever I come to China, I see you, 柚子, and you're a constant comfort when my stomach refuses to take the local food.
Sometimes, I don't have a knife to peal you, but then I use my teeth to break into your thick flesh, tearing you like a savage and claiming you like a possessive lover.
On occasion, when the moon hangs low in the sky, I image it is you, thick with sweetness and heavy with possibilities. I call to you, yet you do not hear me. I motion for you to come; however, I am limited by my mortality and limitations of language. I didn't know your name until just now, and when I first said it, the sounds softly waltzed off my tongue with grace and certainty.
When I cut you, you bleed. When I tickle you, you laugh. When I have 5 块, I can possess you.
In 18 days, I will miss you.
Whenever I come to China, I see you, 柚子, and you're a constant comfort when my stomach refuses to take the local food.
Sometimes, I don't have a knife to peal you, but then I use my teeth to break into your thick flesh, tearing you like a savage and claiming you like a possessive lover.
On occasion, when the moon hangs low in the sky, I image it is you, thick with sweetness and heavy with possibilities. I call to you, yet you do not hear me. I motion for you to come; however, I am limited by my mortality and limitations of language. I didn't know your name until just now, and when I first said it, the sounds softly waltzed off my tongue with grace and certainty.
When I cut you, you bleed. When I tickle you, you laugh. When I have 5 块, I can possess you.
In 18 days, I will miss you.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
I'm Worried
Because I don't see what I think I should be seeing. I'm in Xiamen, which is a gorgeous place, but it's lacking something I desperately need:
Reality.
I feel there is a block between me and "China," and I believe most of it is my doing. Once I got here and things started to happen back home (deaths, suicide attempts, lackluster friendships, missing out on key-events, depression,), I kind of tuned out my time here and instead looked forward to the future, to returning, more so to living in this present reality. But, even before all of this "stuff" went down, I realized there were/are aspects of this place, this Xiamen, that I dislike.
For example: the people here have a manner of politeness about them that has a lot of benefits, such as cars stopping for you when you cross the road (and by stopping, I mean going from 70 mph to 69 mph), and even mustering up a little English to say "Excuse me," or something else along those lines. It also leads to one of the most sparkling-clean cities I've ever seen. Yet, when it comes to getting to know the people here, the politeness and the pleasantries come off not as reserve, but as being stand-off-ish. I feel like, trying to forge friendships here with the locals has been difficult, to say the least, because people are wowed by my skin color and my foreigness instead of being wowed by me as a person (like they should ^_^). Also, having better Chinese than I did a year ago, I realize what people around me are saying, and in general it's not complimentary. Sometimes it's an observation--other times its an insult. I'm tired to scaring Chinese folks--I want some reality.
I want to make real friends. Granted, it takes a while to make real friends, and expecting that I'd make them in less than 4 months is ridiculous. However, it did happen--in less time--a year ago in Beijing: 燕子, Katie, Stacy, Diadra, Daegan, Ben, 宋鹏 (criteria is based on who I regularly talk too--there are more people whom I'll talk to again, but at this time...*call me ^_^*). Sometimes, you gel with people so fast that, man, you can't help wanting to stay around each other for the long time. People here in Xiamen, and in the south in general, aren't so willing to let you into their in-group (similar to the Japanese and Koreans), which is not what I found when I was in Beijing. People there saw me as a person, who happened to be black and foreign and funny-sounding, but my humanity was their first observation. In Xiamen, I can't help but to be black.
This realization, of course, greatly influences where I'll look for work in the future. If my other options don't pan out (shout-out to Am-baa!), then I'll be in Beijing. Or even Xiamen again because I already have had a taste of a good gig being here. Definitely not Shenzhen. But,i want to be in a place where people have at least met one foreigner before so I can focus on developing a relationship where race isn't the primary issue.
Or, second-thought...I'd rather be in a place with more excepting people, but not necessarily packed with foreigners. If I wanted that, I'd move to Shanghai and be an English teacher on stay on the club circuit and not learn any Chinese and only eat foreign food in foreign places with foreign friends speaking our devil tongues.
I'm not sure why I'm rambling. I procrastinationg more so than anything else. I need to write two papers in the next two weeks.
Paper one:
The Use of Gay Bars in fostering a Gay Idenity in Xiamen, China
Paper two:
Arg~! "Pirates of a More Traditional-Sort: Chinese Pirates and the Port-side Economy"
Reality.
I feel there is a block between me and "China," and I believe most of it is my doing. Once I got here and things started to happen back home (deaths, suicide attempts, lackluster friendships, missing out on key-events, depression,), I kind of tuned out my time here and instead looked forward to the future, to returning, more so to living in this present reality. But, even before all of this "stuff" went down, I realized there were/are aspects of this place, this Xiamen, that I dislike.
For example: the people here have a manner of politeness about them that has a lot of benefits, such as cars stopping for you when you cross the road (and by stopping, I mean going from 70 mph to 69 mph), and even mustering up a little English to say "Excuse me," or something else along those lines. It also leads to one of the most sparkling-clean cities I've ever seen. Yet, when it comes to getting to know the people here, the politeness and the pleasantries come off not as reserve, but as being stand-off-ish. I feel like, trying to forge friendships here with the locals has been difficult, to say the least, because people are wowed by my skin color and my foreigness instead of being wowed by me as a person (like they should ^_^). Also, having better Chinese than I did a year ago, I realize what people around me are saying, and in general it's not complimentary. Sometimes it's an observation--other times its an insult. I'm tired to scaring Chinese folks--I want some reality.
I want to make real friends. Granted, it takes a while to make real friends, and expecting that I'd make them in less than 4 months is ridiculous. However, it did happen--in less time--a year ago in Beijing: 燕子, Katie, Stacy, Diadra, Daegan, Ben, 宋鹏 (criteria is based on who I regularly talk too--there are more people whom I'll talk to again, but at this time...*call me ^_^*). Sometimes, you gel with people so fast that, man, you can't help wanting to stay around each other for the long time. People here in Xiamen, and in the south in general, aren't so willing to let you into their in-group (similar to the Japanese and Koreans), which is not what I found when I was in Beijing. People there saw me as a person, who happened to be black and foreign and funny-sounding, but my humanity was their first observation. In Xiamen, I can't help but to be black.
This realization, of course, greatly influences where I'll look for work in the future. If my other options don't pan out (shout-out to Am-baa!), then I'll be in Beijing. Or even Xiamen again because I already have had a taste of a good gig being here. Definitely not Shenzhen. But,
Or, second-thought...I'd rather be in a place with more excepting people, but not necessarily packed with foreigners. If I wanted that, I'd move to Shanghai and be an English teacher on stay on the club circuit and not learn any Chinese and only eat foreign food in foreign places with foreign friends speaking our devil tongues.
I'm not sure why I'm rambling. I procrastinationg more so than anything else. I need to write two papers in the next two weeks.
Paper one:
The Use of Gay Bars in fostering a Gay Idenity in Xiamen, China
Paper two:
Arg~! "Pirates of a More Traditional-Sort: Chinese Pirates and the Port-side Economy"
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Thanksgiving
Diadra and I are saying "fuck you!" to the turkey.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, we have plans of our own.
On Thanksgiving Day, November 27th 2008, we will be on our way to see a concert...
In Hong Kong.
By Kylie Minogue.
Why do I love Kylie Minogue so much? Well, she's amazing, a legend, and has set the bar for pop music higher all over the world (except in the US, but to be fair, we have Madonna). This woman is incredible, and the fact that she'll be making a special trip to Asia, specifically to Beijing, Shanghai, Hong Kong, and Singapore, means that I am destined to see her in concert.
As Jazmin said, "If you don't go, I will kill you."
And Jazmin, of course, will get memorabilia before I get some for myself, as she's the one who took my admiration for Kylie to the next level.
Oh, my God...KYLIE! + Diadra! + Hong Kong! = Heaven
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, we have plans of our own.
On Thanksgiving Day, November 27th 2008, we will be on our way to see a concert...
In Hong Kong.
By Kylie Minogue.
Why do I love Kylie Minogue so much? Well, she's amazing, a legend, and has set the bar for pop music higher all over the world (except in the US, but to be fair, we have Madonna). This woman is incredible, and the fact that she'll be making a special trip to Asia, specifically to Beijing, Shanghai, Hong Kong, and Singapore, means that I am destined to see her in concert.
As Jazmin said, "If you don't go, I will kill you."
And Jazmin, of course, will get memorabilia before I get some for myself, as she's the one who took my admiration for Kylie to the next level.
Oh, my God...KYLIE! + Diadra! + Hong Kong! = Heaven
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Early November Madness/Chinese boys are hopelessly cute
Very cute boy who works at 东边色 (aka Top-Roof Cafe) named Luo Jun. Since I'm a regular, I asked him would he take a picture with me on my birthday. Keep in mind, we'd never spoken before. He's a sweetheart, though.
Twice over
The chocolate-pudding-ny petite-cake that Megan bought me for my birthday. And, yes, that's a sprig of parsley.
阿龙 being playfully bashful. He's a dude who cuts hair near our school. And he's still jailbait, yet a chain-smoker and text-er.
阿龙 being accidentally sexy. Recognize the hair?
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
How Big?
Chinese men are mystified by the size of my penis. Of course, they rarely see it, and I've never told them the measurements, yet they assume it's humongous because in the porn they've seen that's included black men, all of them are hung like freakin' donkeys.
Penis size is a private matter; I don't even tell my lovers (buddies) what is my size--I just show them ;-) So, when someone asks me the question, of course I duck it and turn the question around to them: so, how long is yours? They blush, and I giggle, and the topic is usually averted.
I was at the so-called sauna the other day (I swear I'll write about it!), and while there, a particularly portly gentleman decided that, while letting the water moisten his meaty parts, he would bring up pornography on the public computer.
What race were the featured participants in the flick? Why, take a wild guess.
I hate stereotypes. I hate when white folks think I can play basketball, dance very well, have an insanely large penis, and will rape them on the walk home (I'm using a stereotype to show my contempt for stereotypes--genius). I hate it also when Chinese people do it--when they don't see me as human but judge me by some warped idea that's made it over here--but I can't be so mad at them since they really don't know better.
Grr...even supposedly positive stereotypes get on my damn nerves.
After the fat dude started showing the movie, I was so disgusted that I left. Damn the 20kuai (3 dollar and some change) entry fee!
Peace out.
Penis size is a private matter; I don't even tell my lovers (buddies) what is my size--I just show them ;-) So, when someone asks me the question, of course I duck it and turn the question around to them: so, how long is yours? They blush, and I giggle, and the topic is usually averted.
I was at the so-called sauna the other day (I swear I'll write about it!), and while there, a particularly portly gentleman decided that, while letting the water moisten his meaty parts, he would bring up pornography on the public computer.
What race were the featured participants in the flick? Why, take a wild guess.
I hate stereotypes. I hate when white folks think I can play basketball, dance very well, have an insanely large penis, and will rape them on the walk home (I'm using a stereotype to show my contempt for stereotypes--genius). I hate it also when Chinese people do it--when they don't see me as human but judge me by some warped idea that's made it over here--but I can't be so mad at them since they really don't know better.
Grr...even supposedly positive stereotypes get on my damn nerves.
After the fat dude started showing the movie, I was so disgusted that I left. Damn the 20kuai (3 dollar and some change) entry fee!
Peace out.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Xiamen--oh, yea!
I spend my days anxiously anticipating when I will return to the states--December 13th, just shy of midnight.
I've been busy the last few days. I have midterms all this week, followed by group projects and papers. I feel like I've made the wrong choice--kids who go to Spain to study get to play an entire semester, but if you come to Asia, you come to work. I guess it's their way of punishing the foreign devils.
I've been out to some of the bars here that cater to a particular sort of clientèle, namely the old man gay bar and the sauna. It's all for research purposes as I'm writing a paper about how gay men socialize in a city that lacks the openness (surprisingly) of the capitol city of Beijing. I've talked to some interesting characters, particularly a man named Wen who's spent the last few years working in Britain and, although originally from here, finds the lifestyle of England more open than here in Xiamen. He attacked me in the bar since, obviously, I'm not Chinese, and introduced me to a cast of characters who I feel will provide good information for my project. I've talked to old married gay men, younger men in search of love, prostitutes, and a very wide assortment of Chinese gay men. I'm sad that it's taken me this long to get into this group of people as I could've written my paper ages ago, and had fun at that.
The story of the sauna deserves an entry of its own. I'll have one in a day or two.
Amber...sorry for the wait.
Take care, and cop Beyonce's album. I have Britney's two weeks early (thanks to lovebscott.com). You're sure to enjoy it.
Cheers--
I've been busy the last few days. I have midterms all this week, followed by group projects and papers. I feel like I've made the wrong choice--kids who go to Spain to study get to play an entire semester, but if you come to Asia, you come to work. I guess it's their way of punishing the foreign devils.
I've been out to some of the bars here that cater to a particular sort of clientèle, namely the old man gay bar and the sauna. It's all for research purposes as I'm writing a paper about how gay men socialize in a city that lacks the openness (surprisingly) of the capitol city of Beijing. I've talked to some interesting characters, particularly a man named Wen who's spent the last few years working in Britain and, although originally from here, finds the lifestyle of England more open than here in Xiamen. He attacked me in the bar since, obviously, I'm not Chinese, and introduced me to a cast of characters who I feel will provide good information for my project. I've talked to old married gay men, younger men in search of love, prostitutes, and a very wide assortment of Chinese gay men. I'm sad that it's taken me this long to get into this group of people as I could've written my paper ages ago, and had fun at that.
The story of the sauna deserves an entry of its own. I'll have one in a day or two.
Amber...sorry for the wait.
Take care, and cop Beyonce's album. I have Britney's two weeks early (thanks to lovebscott.com). You're sure to enjoy it.
Cheers--
Saturday, November 8, 2008
22
思乡
I always do a birthday post. My livejournal (blocked in China) can attest to this. It's become a personal tradition for me, this looking back at the year and thanking God and all that good stuff.
This year is no different, but dissimilar in so many ways. For instance, I'm not milling around the Triangle, nor am I even in the country. I am China, seeing things I've never seen before and experiencing life in a profound way, with a little too much introspection, fear, and a false sense of enlightenment. Sometimes, I feel like I haven't learned anything at all, and other times it's as though life seems so unimportant that I can't really process why I'm worrying so much.
This is also the first year I haven't received a birthday card with five dollars in it (when she had it) from my Grandma, signed with love and showcasing her gorgeously meticulous penmanship. I started saving birthday cards that people have given me when I was around 14, so I have a few from her at least. I'll cherish them, and maybe someday I can use her as an example of true penmanship online in the future. For a woman who read fairly slow, her perfect penmanship shows that, even though literacy was not a guarantee during her youth, one can take pride in what one produces. I'm realizing more about her, now that she's gone, than when she was alive.
I know that one day I'll stop hurting so much.
With that said, this birthday is bittersweet. I'm away from the people I love most, but I'm so grateful to be alive another year when death could have taken me so many times. I'm grateful to have these experiences, although I'd trade them in a second, and I'm proud that I can do something that no one else in my family has done before.
But right now, sitting in my dorm room, not going out because of yet another stomach ailment, I'm seeing things darkly. This is probably the first time I've ever written a post on my birthday that wasn't filled with jubilation and triumph and all those good feelings. This year is more solemn.
I hope when it's daybreak on my birthday (it's midnight here), I'll have a different attitude, a healed stomach, and more zest than I do right now.
Love you all.
I always do a birthday post. My livejournal (blocked in China) can attest to this. It's become a personal tradition for me, this looking back at the year and thanking God and all that good stuff.
This year is no different, but dissimilar in so many ways. For instance, I'm not milling around the Triangle, nor am I even in the country. I am China, seeing things I've never seen before and experiencing life in a profound way, with a little too much introspection, fear, and a false sense of enlightenment. Sometimes, I feel like I haven't learned anything at all, and other times it's as though life seems so unimportant that I can't really process why I'm worrying so much.
This is also the first year I haven't received a birthday card with five dollars in it (when she had it) from my Grandma, signed with love and showcasing her gorgeously meticulous penmanship. I started saving birthday cards that people have given me when I was around 14, so I have a few from her at least. I'll cherish them, and maybe someday I can use her as an example of true penmanship online in the future. For a woman who read fairly slow, her perfect penmanship shows that, even though literacy was not a guarantee during her youth, one can take pride in what one produces. I'm realizing more about her, now that she's gone, than when she was alive.
I know that one day I'll stop hurting so much.
With that said, this birthday is bittersweet. I'm away from the people I love most, but I'm so grateful to be alive another year when death could have taken me so many times. I'm grateful to have these experiences, although I'd trade them in a second, and I'm proud that I can do something that no one else in my family has done before.
But right now, sitting in my dorm room, not going out because of yet another stomach ailment, I'm seeing things darkly. This is probably the first time I've ever written a post on my birthday that wasn't filled with jubilation and triumph and all those good feelings. This year is more solemn.
I hope when it's daybreak on my birthday (it's midnight here), I'll have a different attitude, a healed stomach, and more zest than I do right now.
Love you all.
"Disco Round"
I just came back from a night in the bar district with a group of unusuals, and by that I mean the groups of people who usually hang out with one another disappeared and a group of us, who hang out either one on one or not together, went out. It was a lovely experience to see us all bonding in untraditional ways.
First, we went to Honey, then we hit up The Key (a classy name, I know) and listened to a live band play the same tired-ass songs they always play. The I hung out with Jade and Martin (Kentucky) for a hot minute and went with them to K.K....then back to The Key (now filled with whack as foreigners*). After that, some of us went back to K.K....and then back to Honey...and then to K.K. again, deciding finally to finish off the night around 2am when people's dreams were crushed, and my legs were killing me.
*sidenote: Any foreigner who goes abroad instantly becomes cool solely because he or she is novel. If you're typically ugly or untalented or boring or a rapist/psycho, going abroad can lift your level of coolness dramatically. Foreigners who come abroad for the first time think that they have finally come to the promised land, to a place where they really belong, because even strangers will come up to them and tell them how special they are. Foreigners then get a big head and become Supermen and women, devoid of any of the traditional values they once possessed. However, sadly, once they return to their home countries, they realize that their time abroad, which is not their true reality, is gone. They must go back to being dorks. This is especially true for middle-aged portly men (we're not talking about the sexy old dudes--no!), and geeks who don't have the same sense God gave to a lightbulb. I must admit, unfortunately, that I too suffered from this Hero Abroad Syndrome (HAS...been?) when I came back from Beijing last summer--I'm not nearly as great of a Chinese speaker or dancer as people tell me I am, although I'm better than the rest ^_^. Anyway...
So, the monotany of the night serves as an analogy for my life. I do the same things all the time, and even though I try to switch it up, shuffled-up shit is still the same things as dried-up-like-a-raison-in-the-sun shit--shit. I need some variety or I'll find myself in different phases of the same predicament, especially ones that can hold me back from my true potential. All the clubs are the same, and all my preoccupations are the same. So, instead of chasing around a possibility that couldn't possibly have existed, I got my friends to go home with me, and got my black ass in the bed where it belonged.
Tomorrow night, the night before my birthday, I plan to do something I've never done before. With that said, if I die from it, please tell my mom that I love her.
First, we went to Honey, then we hit up The Key (a classy name, I know) and listened to a live band play the same tired-ass songs they always play. The I hung out with Jade and Martin (Kentucky) for a hot minute and went with them to K.K....then back to The Key (now filled with whack as foreigners*). After that, some of us went back to K.K....and then back to Honey...and then to K.K. again, deciding finally to finish off the night around 2am when people's dreams were crushed, and my legs were killing me.
*sidenote: Any foreigner who goes abroad instantly becomes cool solely because he or she is novel. If you're typically ugly or untalented or boring or a rapist/psycho, going abroad can lift your level of coolness dramatically. Foreigners who come abroad for the first time think that they have finally come to the promised land, to a place where they really belong, because even strangers will come up to them and tell them how special they are. Foreigners then get a big head and become Supermen and women, devoid of any of the traditional values they once possessed. However, sadly, once they return to their home countries, they realize that their time abroad, which is not their true reality, is gone. They must go back to being dorks. This is especially true for middle-aged portly men (we're not talking about the sexy old dudes--no!), and geeks who don't have the same sense God gave to a lightbulb. I must admit, unfortunately, that I too suffered from this Hero Abroad Syndrome (HAS...been?) when I came back from Beijing last summer--I'm not nearly as great of a Chinese speaker or dancer as people tell me I am, although I'm better than the rest ^_^. Anyway...
So, the monotany of the night serves as an analogy for my life. I do the same things all the time, and even though I try to switch it up, shuffled-up shit is still the same things as dried-up-like-a-raison-in-the-sun shit--shit. I need some variety or I'll find myself in different phases of the same predicament, especially ones that can hold me back from my true potential. All the clubs are the same, and all my preoccupations are the same. So, instead of chasing around a possibility that couldn't possibly have existed, I got my friends to go home with me, and got my black ass in the bed where it belonged.
Tomorrow night, the night before my birthday, I plan to do something I've never done before. With that said, if I die from it, please tell my mom that I love her.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
奥巴马：大家的再生
中文练习: for Ben, Daegan, and Diadra. Feel free to correct any errors.
我根本没想到奥巴马总统会获得一个国家的梦想。根据报纸，2008年总统的比赛特别竞争，况且偏见和不够的经历的问题一直令大家不相信他，认为他没有那么较真。2008年我虽有点怀疑的，但希拉里得不到提名之后，我突然发现他是最好的候选人。
我查新闻之后，我骄傲极了。奥巴马总统是独一无二的，甚至于也许大家将来不再考虑候选人的种族，祖先等。所以，每当中国人问我奥巴马的种族重要不重要时，我依然回答：不是他的种族，就是他的能力。
打一个比方说，今天下课之后，有两位记者来我采访，问我如何看美国选举。第一个疑问是跟种族有关系。用很简单的中文说，我告诉他们我的意见：现在美国的折磨很厉害，专门经济以及冷漠的一些。按照规定，从开始美国的总统都是白人。今年的选举表现人民改变不幸的现实是可选性。
总而言之，我对奥巴马挺骄傲的！奥巴马总统很好听。加油！
我根本没想到奥巴马总统会获得一个国家的梦想。根据报纸，2008年总统的比赛特别竞争，况且偏见和不够的经历的问题一直令大家不相信他，认为他没有那么较真。2008年我虽有点怀疑的，但希拉里得不到提名之后，我突然发现他是最好的候选人。
我查新闻之后，我骄傲极了。奥巴马总统是独一无二的，甚至于也许大家将来不再考虑候选人的种族，祖先等。所以，每当中国人问我奥巴马的种族重要不重要时，我依然回答：不是他的种族，就是他的能力。
打一个比方说，今天下课之后，有两位记者来我采访，问我如何看美国选举。第一个疑问是跟种族有关系。用很简单的中文说，我告诉他们我的意见：现在美国的折磨很厉害，专门经济以及冷漠的一些。按照规定，从开始美国的总统都是白人。今年的选举表现人民改变不幸的现实是可选性。
总而言之，我对奥巴马挺骄傲的！奥巴马总统很好听。加油！
Obama
Are you serious?
I have never been so proud of my country.
I am beyond words. The joy in my heart, as a young man and as a black man, is beyond words. Even if Obama is not the next Messiah, the fact that he could be elected at all shows that our nation is on the verge of something remarkable in our darkest times ever.
And NC is blue~! First female governor! Dole being "kicked to the curb" (I guess she was the true devil worshiper).
I can't create a coherent thought. I'm just happy.
Grandma wanted Obama to win. She testified in church about it before she passed away. If she were still here, she'd be getting ready for bed after staying up to watch the result.
I give God the praise.
I have never been so proud of my country.
I am beyond words. The joy in my heart, as a young man and as a black man, is beyond words. Even if Obama is not the next Messiah, the fact that he could be elected at all shows that our nation is on the verge of something remarkable in our darkest times ever.
And NC is blue~! First female governor! Dole being "kicked to the curb" (I guess she was the true devil worshiper).
I can't create a coherent thought. I'm just happy.
Grandma wanted Obama to win. She testified in church about it before she passed away. If she were still here, she'd be getting ready for bed after staying up to watch the result.
I give God the praise.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
10,000 Spirits (one wig)
彦博 tries on the 假发 and rocks it well.
I recently watched Top Model, Season 3 (Eva's year)...she wanted me to give it to you. See it?
When you ain't got a pumpkin, you make due with what you got.
We're giving it to you hard. See it???
Heehee hee....Wesley is fun!
Halloween
万圣节 (festival of 10,000 spirits) in China is not that different from the US, at least when you're my age. I'm not around elementary school children, so I didn't see them in their classes preparing costumes for an event they really don't understand (they just know it's fun), and while there were decorations up at certain locations, there wasn't a city-wide phenomenon like in the US. All the decorations were at places where foreigners frequent here in Xiamen, and the only so-called Halloween party was an ex-pat fuckfest that I didn't bother to attend.
A friend of mine, a Dutch boy named Wesley, and I went shopping for costumes. We didn't really know where to look, so we went to the largest shopping mall here to try our luck. We rode a taxi to SM广成 where, only about a 2 minute walk from the main entrance, there was a store set up in the middle of the main walkway devoted to Halloween gear. The costumes and paraphernalia there were nothing really impressive, but good enough to fit what I was looking for. There were not any full-fledged costumes, like giant jack-o-lanterns or pirate gear, but most of what they had were masks and assortments--the rest of the outfit you'd have to provide yourself. Wesley and I had a nice time trying on random masks and wigs for the Chinese people who took pictures for us, and we walked away with a bunny costume for Wesley and a blond afro wig for myself. What was running through my mind was, "White people love to wear afro wigs when they want to make a statement because they find our (black folks') type of hair to be a laughing matter. I'll play on that." Of course, no one conceived of that but me. I smiled at the thought as we went out.
Meanwhile, I was having stomach issues that day, so we made a detour by the pharmacy in the adjacent Wal-Mart and, unable to find Pepto-bismal, I bought some Chinese medicine called "正露丸" that stank to high heaven, looked like rat-droppings, and when taken on an empty stomach (like I had) caused my insides to try out for the 2012 All-American Gymnastic Team. The cab ride back was terrible, but after I ate some 啤酒鸭 (beer duck), I felt a lot better. Although the medicine still smells like cabbage and bleach.
Here's a commercial (from Japan):
We (Phebe, Luke, Wesley, and I) went out later on and headed to The Key, a club/bar, to watch the Dutch girls perform a dance to, what else, "Pass the Dutch" (and, to illustrate how our cultures are slightly different, I told them the meaning of "dutch" in the Islands, which they didn't expect). The Key is one of the better dance pubs out of the 6 or so that stand, monstrously large and illuminated, beside each other. Most of the people were in costumes similar to ours--half-assed. Yet, they had a really good cover band that could sing very well in English, and for the entire night they played live music instead of resorting to the same tired-ass, "Get Low", "Please Don't Stop the Music", and other random stuff "apple-bottom jeans! boots wit da furrrrrr (furrrrr!)" that they play in every club here （I would kill to have someone play, say, "Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It)" or "Womanizer" or "Go Girl" or something that's come out in the last 5 months). During the course of the evening, the Dutch did a very good, hoochie-fied performance, I made amends with the Dutch boy who did me wrong (I shamed him very well), met an American gay dude from Kentucky and his half-Mauritian friend, watched my roommate and Wesley make out with chicks on the dance floor at K.K., and had a heated argument with this crazy stalker man from Niger who is 2 seconds away from a good old-fashioned beat-down.
All in all, my best Halloween ever. It's great being an adult.
Pictures will be up as soon as my camera comes correct.
A friend of mine, a Dutch boy named Wesley, and I went shopping for costumes. We didn't really know where to look, so we went to the largest shopping mall here to try our luck. We rode a taxi to SM广成 where, only about a 2 minute walk from the main entrance, there was a store set up in the middle of the main walkway devoted to Halloween gear. The costumes and paraphernalia there were nothing really impressive, but good enough to fit what I was looking for. There were not any full-fledged costumes, like giant jack-o-lanterns or pirate gear, but most of what they had were masks and assortments--the rest of the outfit you'd have to provide yourself. Wesley and I had a nice time trying on random masks and wigs for the Chinese people who took pictures for us, and we walked away with a bunny costume for Wesley and a blond afro wig for myself. What was running through my mind was, "White people love to wear afro wigs when they want to make a statement because they find our (black folks') type of hair to be a laughing matter. I'll play on that." Of course, no one conceived of that but me. I smiled at the thought as we went out.
Meanwhile, I was having stomach issues that day, so we made a detour by the pharmacy in the adjacent Wal-Mart and, unable to find Pepto-bismal, I bought some Chinese medicine called "正露丸" that stank to high heaven, looked like rat-droppings, and when taken on an empty stomach (like I had) caused my insides to try out for the 2012 All-American Gymnastic Team. The cab ride back was terrible, but after I ate some 啤酒鸭 (beer duck), I felt a lot better. Although the medicine still smells like cabbage and bleach.
Here's a commercial (from Japan):
We (Phebe, Luke, Wesley, and I) went out later on and headed to The Key, a club/bar, to watch the Dutch girls perform a dance to, what else, "Pass the Dutch" (and, to illustrate how our cultures are slightly different, I told them the meaning of "dutch" in the Islands, which they didn't expect). The Key is one of the better dance pubs out of the 6 or so that stand, monstrously large and illuminated, beside each other. Most of the people were in costumes similar to ours--half-assed. Yet, they had a really good cover band that could sing very well in English, and for the entire night they played live music instead of resorting to the same tired-ass, "Get Low", "Please Don't Stop the Music", and other random stuff "apple-bottom jeans! boots wit da furrrrrr (furrrrr!)" that they play in every club here （I would kill to have someone play, say, "Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It)" or "Womanizer" or "Go Girl" or something that's come out in the last 5 months). During the course of the evening, the Dutch did a very good, hoochie-fied performance, I made amends with the Dutch boy who did me wrong (I shamed him very well), met an American gay dude from Kentucky and his half-Mauritian friend, watched my roommate and Wesley make out with chicks on the dance floor at K.K., and had a heated argument with this crazy stalker man from Niger who is 2 seconds away from a good old-fashioned beat-down.
All in all, my best Halloween ever. It's great being an adult.
Pictures will be up as soon as my camera comes correct.
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