"Silver lake"

So, in writing this entry from the 'sauna,' I've come to several conclusions:

Everyone is lonely and wants to be loved, and he will spend his entire life trying to find that love. The fact that there are so many older men in these establishments shows that finding the love one aches for may come to pass. In fact, love might be so elusive that one will spend his old age wondering what he did wrong and pondering just how many opportunities for real love he passed up, and what it would be like not to grow old alone.

This place offers sleeping, and I'm tempted to stay here for an evening. I don't know whether or not that will actually happen, but considering it seems, to a naive young me, like charity work. I wonder if I too will end up like these gentlement, searching for love in the most unlikely and desperate places...or whether or not the idea of being old and alone will help me to search for my own personal happiness a little bit harder. One of my biggest fears, aside from being a failure, is to be old and full of regrets about the life not filled with chances taken.

I've come to China on a whim, and I had to deal with some heavy loses in order to get to this point. While watching the obese man in front of me, nude, through the plastic slats (actually, trying to avoid looking at this grotesquely infantile form), I wonder if I will be like him some day.

Or, maybe not.