Negro

I'm black, and I'm in China.

I'm used to being black and in China, and what that means. Or at least I thought I did. This place is better than Beijing for the sheer fact, being on a college campus, people have a little more education and with that comes, well, more decorum. They stare, but they keep their distance, and usually the stares only follow me for as long as I'm in front of their faces, and not when I'm far into the distance.

I'm the only black person in our program, and while there are a few more who dot the campus, my intimates are all either white or Asian. That's fine, but I definitely get more attention than anyone else. For example, this morning on our way out the main gate, a group of giggly Chinese girls took a group picture of us, but after a few snaps they moved in and focused on me. It was flattering, and I would have worked some fierce posses if I weren't hot, bloated, and working on sweating through the first shirt of the day (it's so f*cking hot here).

There is no blending in for me. And most people know how sometimes I like to fly under the radar (a palendrom). I like to go incognito, and sometimes I don't like to be seen by large numbers of people. I get a little...anxious? It manifests in a few ways, like at work when I prefer to work the bar or be busy with other tasks instead of working the register and having to greet everyone. I'm generally not like that, but being in a situation like China where I like to sit back and observe, I'm denied the privilege. Wherever, and I do mean wherever, I go here, 1 out of every 4 people will notice me and react in one of several ways:
1) the open-mouth gaping stare;
2) the smile and polite little wave;
3) "heroo";
4) the look of surprise, then quick turning away;
5) indifference (mainly on campus);
6) the "what's up my nigga" nod (when someone knods his head in an upward motion, similar to the one black men give each other in the US...someone has been watching his BET, I see);
7) the grab the person next to you so they can see too, PARTICULARLY with small children, as I might be their only opportunity to see a black person for several years.

I'm trying to remain good natured about it, and usually I'm pretty good. Sometimes, though, I get the urge to retreat back to my dorm and nurse my wounds. It doesn't help that no one else really gets it except the island dude I met the other day, Joae, since all the other internationals here are Asians and whites. I guess blacks aren't feeling the Asian thing too much.

If I become a rich man, I will set up a true afro-asian exchange program. I think that my community, for the most, is really sitting on the opportunities that await in Asia. Whites and Asians don't really hesitate, for the most part, to get on a plane and see some shit. Blacks might make it to Europe, or they may go south to Latin America, but Asia has been largely off limits to them. Ironically, there is an increasingly large Chinese presence in Africa because of the trade of oil for infrastructure, but not really in reverse. Chinese people will not stop staring until they find our presence here a usual thing because why should they think it rude, unnerving to the observed, or hostile? It's curiosity more than anything, and I can appreciate it that people want to see a handsome Negro man up close and personal.

Hey, check this out:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Darlie
(on the picture on the right, it literally says "black people" across the top of the tube)

It's all flattery, really. And other times, when I'm not in the mood, it feels like there is something hideous of my face that I wasn't smart enough to remove before leaving the room. One day that will happen, I'll be unsure if people are looking at me for the spinach or the blackness. When the happens, I guess I'll be at a loss for words.