So, in writing this entry from the 'sauna,' I've come to several conclusions:
Everyone is lonely and wants to be loved, and he will spend his entire life trying to find that love. The fact that there are so many older men in these establishments shows that finding the love one aches for may come to pass. In fact, love might be so elusive that one will spend his old age wondering what he did wrong and pondering just how many opportunities for real love he passed up, and what it would be like not to grow old alone.
This place offers sleeping, and I'm tempted to stay here for an evening. I don't know whether or not that will actually happen, but considering it seems, to a naive young me, like charity work. I wonder if I too will end up like these gentlement, searching for love in the most unlikely and desperate places...or whether or not the idea of being old and alone will help me to search for my own personal happiness a little bit harder. One of my biggest fears, aside from being a failure, is to be old and full of regrets about the life not filled with chances taken.
I've come to China on a whim, and I had to deal with some heavy loses in order to get to this point. While watching the obese man in front of me, nude, through the plastic slats (actually, trying to avoid looking at this grotesquely infantile form), I wonder if I will be like him some day.
Or, maybe not.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Saturday, November 29, 2008
i'm a sensitive kinda brutha...
Miso soup--fermented goodness.
Knowing that there's Carmex in Asia brings me a step closer to making this place a home after graduation.
Fried Udon dish at a random Japanese restuarant.
Would you tell me how to get, how to get to Nathan Street?
I'm a sensitive kinda brutha, ladies. Ask about me.
(Try me out. Put me in your mouth.)
Friday, November 28, 2008
"The suspense is wild..." - KYLIE X2008
It's great having a sense of accomplishment, especially of the sort that comes from achieving one of your life's goals.
I saw Kylie Minogue in concert. This is amazing because she has NEVER (and probably will never) travel tour the US. Insultingly, she went to South America and totally did a big "F-off!" the States because, well, the poor fools don't know good music when they hear it. What's more, I heard one of my favorite artists in one of my most favorite locations in the world--Hong Kong. And EVEN MORE eXciting was being able to see it with one of my greatest friends in the world, Ms. Diadra of Concord, NC.
The whole thing is almost magical in how it transpired. I was on a random website and out of the corner of my eye I see an advertisement with Kylie front in center. I assumed it was for her tour DVD, but I decided to click on it to get an idea of how much the price was. Turns out that skimming is for morons. It was for her tour, and I must say that it was heavenly inspired that I would be in Asia at this time, so close to two of the locations where she would be performing. I ordered the tickets less than a week before she was to perform, so I got craptastic seats...but the fact that I had seats at all is an amazing thing. Word to your mother.
I had class (a presentation, actually) on Wednesday, so I couldn't leave Xiamen until Thursday. I took the 7:25 flight out, almost missing it because my HAIR GREASE got caught during the security check, but made it to Shenzhen. I landed, and instead of looking for the bus that Diadra told me about (around 10 kuai), I decided that I was too tired, had too much stuff, and would take a taxi instead. I left the airport and was attacked by a portly man who beckoned me to follow him. After asking him if he knew where Diadra's place was (she's pretty famous around these parts--no, j/k. Actually, she lives pretty remote from the city's center), I followed him to a what looked like a bus stop where other people were standing. After asking some questions, I found out the people were taxi-cab drivers who were waiting for their taxi to arrive. It arrived about 7 minutes later, but...it wasn't a taxi. It wasn't a primary color, nor did it have a meter, but it looked like any-old car you'd see on the street. Because China has taught me to be brave, I climbed in. Hence, I present to you fine folks my first experience riding a notorious illegal taxi.
I could have been driven off to some isolated place, robbed, and injured. But, instead I was just dropped off at the wrong school. No biggie.
I met Diadra who has purply-brown hair now at a shorter length, and we napped (we're a bunch of old foogies). Afterwards, we took the K-wu-san-san (K533) to the Shenzhen border, but before crossing we met up with two of her friends who were coincidentally going to the Kylie concert as well--the Surly-Irish-Man Darahm, and the gay-Californian-Taiwanese Nick. And the fun began.
We made it to Hong Kong, and because we were running late, we checked into a hostel where I changed into this banging ensemble (basically, I changed shirts), and we hustled to take the X21 across Hong Kong to the airport, nearto where the Asia World-Arena was located. We sat on the top of the double-decker bus (my first time), and watched the night scenery pass by. We then rode across what used to be the longest suspension bridge in Asia as neon lights and the opportunity to see Kylie Minogue twinkled in the distance. I would have taken my camera, but since I believed erroniously that they would check bags at the entrance, all my Kylie moments are in my head and on Youtube. What a shame.
We arived--the place was packed. We were several minutes late, and fearing that the concert would start soon, we dashed to the box office to pick up our tickets. Everything worked out fine, and Diadra and I took our seats in section U while Nick and Darahm were in R. There was a DJ performing in the area I guess in the place of an opening act, and he played a lot of unknown remixes to some of Kylie's lesser known songs (like, Boombox). A large purple satin curtain was masking the stage, and a lone smoke machine blew like a the little engline that could in an effort to fill up the arena. We were poised and ready for the show to begin.
And although the concert was supposed to start at 8, Kylie rolled her ass in around 8:58.
Oh, but how she began!
She opened with SPEAKERPHONE. I played that song too death, and I think it's the best upbeat song on the album. In the video, notice the the animations that are on the screen. And imagine them 8 billion times bigger. And Kylie's entrance on top of the speakers from the deaths of the stage--priceless. She's a champion!!
I screamed like a bitch for the majority of the concert. And I danced in our section filled with ex-pats over 50 and rhythm-less Hong-Kongers. Diadra had/has a fever (I forgot to make a joke about how one of Kylie's most popular albums is called Fever), so she still had the Kylie spirit.
Some of the highlights of the concerts--
Kylie changed outfits six times, and each one was fabulous (although I think the one that referenced American footballers was a little 马马虎虎, it still wasn't bad). I read somewhere that Jean-Paul Gaultier designed the outfits for the tour, and they did seem to adhere to his style in that they were too long for heavy choreography, yet still modern and captured the essense of the songs and the sets. Coincidently, he also designed costumes for my favorite singer from HK--Leslie Cheung 张国荣 for his last tour before he died. It's amazing how great minds think alike.
The songs list covered all the songs from X, yet she still did all of her major hits, including some really old ones like "Wouldn't Change a Thing," "Better the Devil You Know," and closing the concert with "I Should Be So Lucky" (I believe the motivation for doing so many old hits is due to her audience--mostly British ex-pats. The songs were all hits in England when they were released).
She didn't do anything like "Boombox" (or as Bomi called it, Boom-pah), "Cherry bomb" or any of the R&B songs such as "Almost a Lover" or "After Dark" from Body Language, but she didn't do anything bad...
Except for "Your Disco Needs You." This is the only Kylie Minogue songs I've ever deleted from my computer. Yet, I sang along even to that.
Kylie also sang some covers...surprisingly. She has a whole set devoted to a nautical theme, so she could do "Loveboat"...and, to the most lyrically-tragic and popular song ever:
"Copacabana." I still don't understand why, but Kylie--you betta work it, gurl!
Kylie looked AMAZING, by the way. She was doing splits suspended by a crew of backup dancers (not her best troup...sadly), while wearing 6/7/8/9 inch heels. She was working it out.
I had a semi-religious experience during the concernt. I was so happy during "The One" that I almost starting crying. Well, maybe I did, if you count being misty-eyed as crying. In my defense, she had just showered the arena in gold glitter. Here's a performance from the DVD:
[She sounds a little raggady in this performance, but she sounded SUPERB in HK.]
The whole tour is so popular, it even has a fucking Wikipedia entry!
So, I haven't been this happy since seeing Jill Scott earlier this year. It's good too since I would probably have been sad since my family and friends are all celebrating Thanksgiving in the states. Granted, I would trade Kylie for one more Thanksgiving with my Grandma, but things standing as they are, if I have to bee so far I was from the people I love most, then I'm glad I spent my time in HK, with a gay Taiwanese man, Little Di-Di, dancing the night away to the Princess of Pop.
<3
I saw Kylie Minogue in concert. This is amazing because she has NEVER (and probably will never) travel tour the US. Insultingly, she went to South America and totally did a big "F-off!" the States because, well, the poor fools don't know good music when they hear it. What's more, I heard one of my favorite artists in one of my most favorite locations in the world--Hong Kong. And EVEN MORE eXciting was being able to see it with one of my greatest friends in the world, Ms. Diadra of Concord, NC.
The whole thing is almost magical in how it transpired. I was on a random website and out of the corner of my eye I see an advertisement with Kylie front in center. I assumed it was for her tour DVD, but I decided to click on it to get an idea of how much the price was. Turns out that skimming is for morons. It was for her tour, and I must say that it was heavenly inspired that I would be in Asia at this time, so close to two of the locations where she would be performing. I ordered the tickets less than a week before she was to perform, so I got craptastic seats...but the fact that I had seats at all is an amazing thing. Word to your mother.
I had class (a presentation, actually) on Wednesday, so I couldn't leave Xiamen until Thursday. I took the 7:25 flight out, almost missing it because my HAIR GREASE got caught during the security check, but made it to Shenzhen. I landed, and instead of looking for the bus that Diadra told me about (around 10 kuai), I decided that I was too tired, had too much stuff, and would take a taxi instead. I left the airport and was attacked by a portly man who beckoned me to follow him. After asking him if he knew where Diadra's place was (she's pretty famous around these parts--no, j/k. Actually, she lives pretty remote from the city's center), I followed him to a what looked like a bus stop where other people were standing. After asking some questions, I found out the people were taxi-cab drivers who were waiting for their taxi to arrive. It arrived about 7 minutes later, but...it wasn't a taxi. It wasn't a primary color, nor did it have a meter, but it looked like any-old car you'd see on the street. Because China has taught me to be brave, I climbed in. Hence, I present to you fine folks my first experience riding a notorious illegal taxi.
I could have been driven off to some isolated place, robbed, and injured. But, instead I was just dropped off at the wrong school. No biggie.
I met Diadra who has purply-brown hair now at a shorter length, and we napped (we're a bunch of old foogies). Afterwards, we took the K-wu-san-san (K533) to the Shenzhen border, but before crossing we met up with two of her friends who were coincidentally going to the Kylie concert as well--the Surly-Irish-Man Darahm, and the gay-Californian-Taiwanese Nick. And the fun began.
We made it to Hong Kong, and because we were running late, we checked into a hostel where I changed into this banging ensemble (basically, I changed shirts), and we hustled to take the X21 across Hong Kong to the airport, nearto where the Asia World-Arena was located. We sat on the top of the double-decker bus (my first time), and watched the night scenery pass by. We then rode across what used to be the longest suspension bridge in Asia as neon lights and the opportunity to see Kylie Minogue twinkled in the distance. I would have taken my camera, but since I believed erroniously that they would check bags at the entrance, all my Kylie moments are in my head and on Youtube. What a shame.
We arived--the place was packed. We were several minutes late, and fearing that the concert would start soon, we dashed to the box office to pick up our tickets. Everything worked out fine, and Diadra and I took our seats in section U while Nick and Darahm were in R. There was a DJ performing in the area I guess in the place of an opening act, and he played a lot of unknown remixes to some of Kylie's lesser known songs (like, Boombox). A large purple satin curtain was masking the stage, and a lone smoke machine blew like a the little engline that could in an effort to fill up the arena. We were poised and ready for the show to begin.
And although the concert was supposed to start at 8, Kylie rolled her ass in around 8:58.
Oh, but how she began!
She opened with SPEAKERPHONE. I played that song too death, and I think it's the best upbeat song on the album. In the video, notice the the animations that are on the screen. And imagine them 8 billion times bigger. And Kylie's entrance on top of the speakers from the deaths of the stage--priceless. She's a champion!!
I screamed like a bitch for the majority of the concert. And I danced in our section filled with ex-pats over 50 and rhythm-less Hong-Kongers. Diadra had/has a fever (I forgot to make a joke about how one of Kylie's most popular albums is called Fever), so she still had the Kylie spirit.
Some of the highlights of the concerts--
Kylie changed outfits six times, and each one was fabulous (although I think the one that referenced American footballers was a little 马马虎虎, it still wasn't bad). I read somewhere that Jean-Paul Gaultier designed the outfits for the tour, and they did seem to adhere to his style in that they were too long for heavy choreography, yet still modern and captured the essense of the songs and the sets. Coincidently, he also designed costumes for my favorite singer from HK--Leslie Cheung 张国荣 for his last tour before he died. It's amazing how great minds think alike.
The songs list covered all the songs from X, yet she still did all of her major hits, including some really old ones like "Wouldn't Change a Thing," "Better the Devil You Know," and closing the concert with "I Should Be So Lucky" (I believe the motivation for doing so many old hits is due to her audience--mostly British ex-pats. The songs were all hits in England when they were released).
She didn't do anything like "Boombox" (or as Bomi called it, Boom-pah), "Cherry bomb" or any of the R&B songs such as "Almost a Lover" or "After Dark" from Body Language, but she didn't do anything bad...
Except for "Your Disco Needs You." This is the only Kylie Minogue songs I've ever deleted from my computer. Yet, I sang along even to that.
Kylie also sang some covers...surprisingly. She has a whole set devoted to a nautical theme, so she could do "Loveboat"...and, to the most lyrically-tragic and popular song ever:
"Copacabana." I still don't understand why, but Kylie--you betta work it, gurl!
Kylie looked AMAZING, by the way. She was doing splits suspended by a crew of backup dancers (not her best troup...sadly), while wearing 6/7/8/9 inch heels. She was working it out.
I had a semi-religious experience during the concernt. I was so happy during "The One" that I almost starting crying. Well, maybe I did, if you count being misty-eyed as crying. In my defense, she had just showered the arena in gold glitter. Here's a performance from the DVD:
[She sounds a little raggady in this performance, but she sounded SUPERB in HK.]
The whole tour is so popular, it even has a fucking Wikipedia entry!
So, I haven't been this happy since seeing Jill Scott earlier this year. It's good too since I would probably have been sad since my family and friends are all celebrating Thanksgiving in the states. Granted, I would trade Kylie for one more Thanksgiving with my Grandma, but things standing as they are, if I have to bee so far I was from the people I love most, then I'm glad I spent my time in HK, with a gay Taiwanese man, Little Di-Di, dancing the night away to the Princess of Pop.
<3
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Ode to 柚子
What exactly are you, my little friend?
Whenever I come to China, I see you, 柚子, and you're a constant comfort when my stomach refuses to take the local food.
Sometimes, I don't have a knife to peal you, but then I use my teeth to break into your thick flesh, tearing you like a savage and claiming you like a possessive lover.
On occasion, when the moon hangs low in the sky, I image it is you, thick with sweetness and heavy with possibilities. I call to you, yet you do not hear me. I motion for you to come; however, I am limited by my mortality and limitations of language. I didn't know your name until just now, and when I first said it, the sounds softly waltzed off my tongue with grace and certainty.
When I cut you, you bleed. When I tickle you, you laugh. When I have 5 块, I can possess you.
In 18 days, I will miss you.
Whenever I come to China, I see you, 柚子, and you're a constant comfort when my stomach refuses to take the local food.
Sometimes, I don't have a knife to peal you, but then I use my teeth to break into your thick flesh, tearing you like a savage and claiming you like a possessive lover.
On occasion, when the moon hangs low in the sky, I image it is you, thick with sweetness and heavy with possibilities. I call to you, yet you do not hear me. I motion for you to come; however, I am limited by my mortality and limitations of language. I didn't know your name until just now, and when I first said it, the sounds softly waltzed off my tongue with grace and certainty.
When I cut you, you bleed. When I tickle you, you laugh. When I have 5 块, I can possess you.
In 18 days, I will miss you.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
I'm Worried
Because I don't see what I think I should be seeing. I'm in Xiamen, which is a gorgeous place, but it's lacking something I desperately need:
Reality.
I feel there is a block between me and "China," and I believe most of it is my doing. Once I got here and things started to happen back home (deaths, suicide attempts, lackluster friendships, missing out on key-events, depression,), I kind of tuned out my time here and instead looked forward to the future, to returning, more so to living in this present reality. But, even before all of this "stuff" went down, I realized there were/are aspects of this place, this Xiamen, that I dislike.
For example: the people here have a manner of politeness about them that has a lot of benefits, such as cars stopping for you when you cross the road (and by stopping, I mean going from 70 mph to 69 mph), and even mustering up a little English to say "Excuse me," or something else along those lines. It also leads to one of the most sparkling-clean cities I've ever seen. Yet, when it comes to getting to know the people here, the politeness and the pleasantries come off not as reserve, but as being stand-off-ish. I feel like, trying to forge friendships here with the locals has been difficult, to say the least, because people are wowed by my skin color and my foreigness instead of being wowed by me as a person (like they should ^_^). Also, having better Chinese than I did a year ago, I realize what people around me are saying, and in general it's not complimentary. Sometimes it's an observation--other times its an insult. I'm tired to scaring Chinese folks--I want some reality.
I want to make real friends. Granted, it takes a while to make real friends, and expecting that I'd make them in less than 4 months is ridiculous. However, it did happen--in less time--a year ago in Beijing: 燕子, Katie, Stacy, Diadra, Daegan, Ben, 宋鹏 (criteria is based on who I regularly talk too--there are more people whom I'll talk to again, but at this time...*call me ^_^*). Sometimes, you gel with people so fast that, man, you can't help wanting to stay around each other for the long time. People here in Xiamen, and in the south in general, aren't so willing to let you into their in-group (similar to the Japanese and Koreans), which is not what I found when I was in Beijing. People there saw me as a person, who happened to be black and foreign and funny-sounding, but my humanity was their first observation. In Xiamen, I can't help but to be black.
This realization, of course, greatly influences where I'll look for work in the future. If my other options don't pan out (shout-out to Am-baa!), then I'll be in Beijing. Or even Xiamen again because I already have had a taste of a good gig being here. Definitely not Shenzhen. But,i want to be in a place where people have at least met one foreigner before so I can focus on developing a relationship where race isn't the primary issue.
Or, second-thought...I'd rather be in a place with more excepting people, but not necessarily packed with foreigners. If I wanted that, I'd move to Shanghai and be an English teacher on stay on the club circuit and not learn any Chinese and only eat foreign food in foreign places with foreign friends speaking our devil tongues.
I'm not sure why I'm rambling. I procrastinationg more so than anything else. I need to write two papers in the next two weeks.
Paper one:
The Use of Gay Bars in fostering a Gay Idenity in Xiamen, China
Paper two:
Arg~! "Pirates of a More Traditional-Sort: Chinese Pirates and the Port-side Economy"
Reality.
I feel there is a block between me and "China," and I believe most of it is my doing. Once I got here and things started to happen back home (deaths, suicide attempts, lackluster friendships, missing out on key-events, depression,), I kind of tuned out my time here and instead looked forward to the future, to returning, more so to living in this present reality. But, even before all of this "stuff" went down, I realized there were/are aspects of this place, this Xiamen, that I dislike.
For example: the people here have a manner of politeness about them that has a lot of benefits, such as cars stopping for you when you cross the road (and by stopping, I mean going from 70 mph to 69 mph), and even mustering up a little English to say "Excuse me," or something else along those lines. It also leads to one of the most sparkling-clean cities I've ever seen. Yet, when it comes to getting to know the people here, the politeness and the pleasantries come off not as reserve, but as being stand-off-ish. I feel like, trying to forge friendships here with the locals has been difficult, to say the least, because people are wowed by my skin color and my foreigness instead of being wowed by me as a person (like they should ^_^). Also, having better Chinese than I did a year ago, I realize what people around me are saying, and in general it's not complimentary. Sometimes it's an observation--other times its an insult. I'm tired to scaring Chinese folks--I want some reality.
I want to make real friends. Granted, it takes a while to make real friends, and expecting that I'd make them in less than 4 months is ridiculous. However, it did happen--in less time--a year ago in Beijing: 燕子, Katie, Stacy, Diadra, Daegan, Ben, 宋鹏 (criteria is based on who I regularly talk too--there are more people whom I'll talk to again, but at this time...*call me ^_^*). Sometimes, you gel with people so fast that, man, you can't help wanting to stay around each other for the long time. People here in Xiamen, and in the south in general, aren't so willing to let you into their in-group (similar to the Japanese and Koreans), which is not what I found when I was in Beijing. People there saw me as a person, who happened to be black and foreign and funny-sounding, but my humanity was their first observation. In Xiamen, I can't help but to be black.
This realization, of course, greatly influences where I'll look for work in the future. If my other options don't pan out (shout-out to Am-baa!), then I'll be in Beijing. Or even Xiamen again because I already have had a taste of a good gig being here. Definitely not Shenzhen. But,
Or, second-thought...I'd rather be in a place with more excepting people, but not necessarily packed with foreigners. If I wanted that, I'd move to Shanghai and be an English teacher on stay on the club circuit and not learn any Chinese and only eat foreign food in foreign places with foreign friends speaking our devil tongues.
I'm not sure why I'm rambling. I procrastinationg more so than anything else. I need to write two papers in the next two weeks.
Paper one:
The Use of Gay Bars in fostering a Gay Idenity in Xiamen, China
Paper two:
Arg~! "Pirates of a More Traditional-Sort: Chinese Pirates and the Port-side Economy"
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Thanksgiving
Diadra and I are saying "fuck you!" to the turkey.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, we have plans of our own.
On Thanksgiving Day, November 27th 2008, we will be on our way to see a concert...
In Hong Kong.
By Kylie Minogue.
Why do I love Kylie Minogue so much? Well, she's amazing, a legend, and has set the bar for pop music higher all over the world (except in the US, but to be fair, we have Madonna). This woman is incredible, and the fact that she'll be making a special trip to Asia, specifically to Beijing, Shanghai, Hong Kong, and Singapore, means that I am destined to see her in concert.
As Jazmin said, "If you don't go, I will kill you."
And Jazmin, of course, will get memorabilia before I get some for myself, as she's the one who took my admiration for Kylie to the next level.
Oh, my God...KYLIE! + Diadra! + Hong Kong! = Heaven
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, we have plans of our own.
On Thanksgiving Day, November 27th 2008, we will be on our way to see a concert...
In Hong Kong.
By Kylie Minogue.
Why do I love Kylie Minogue so much? Well, she's amazing, a legend, and has set the bar for pop music higher all over the world (except in the US, but to be fair, we have Madonna). This woman is incredible, and the fact that she'll be making a special trip to Asia, specifically to Beijing, Shanghai, Hong Kong, and Singapore, means that I am destined to see her in concert.
As Jazmin said, "If you don't go, I will kill you."
And Jazmin, of course, will get memorabilia before I get some for myself, as she's the one who took my admiration for Kylie to the next level.
Oh, my God...KYLIE! + Diadra! + Hong Kong! = Heaven
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